


Possession

by FallingThunder



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Aiden!Student, Alternate Universe, Dean!Student, F/M, Implied Relationships, Richard!Author, University, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingThunder/pseuds/FallingThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life had never turned out how Emily had thought it was going to. She had not expected to ever go to university, never thought she’s up and move to a strange city with two guys she’d never even met and certainly never thought she’d meet her favourite author, Richard Armitage. But the future is never set in stone and what once seemed a certainty was about to be turned upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I’m not being funny brain, but could we really try and get some work done today?_ Emily said under her breath, pulling her fingers through her hair. She was sitting in a small cramped café, she had drained her unbelievably sweet cup of tea almost the moment she had sat down and was now pouring over a leather bound book of blank paper. She had bought it a year and a half ago, at the start of her first year at university, with the intention of filling it with poetry by the time she left. She had eighteen months left to go and the book was half full. That would have been fine, she had plenty of time to fit her work in and fill the book. But she was stuck; living in a city was grinding on her. Not that Oxford was a bad place, but being country bred the constant sound of people was distracting her.

She looked up and glanced round the room. It was pretty crowded, being February and cold the café was doing good trade. _The fact that it was sleeting didn’t do business any harm either,_ she thought. Every table was full, apart from her own and one other, which only had one person facing her on it. Her eyes rested on the man sitting at it. He was reading a book, not very well by the look of it, it was upside down.  She raised an eyebrow, _why would he be reading a book the wrong way up? Perhaps it was one of those ritualistic spell books where you had to turn the book round to read it?_ He didn’t look like he would be interested in that kind of thing, but then you could never tell. He had a well-fitting black suit jacket on, over a navy button up shirt, which with his dark hair swept back, make him casually smart. _Very nice_. She tilted her head to see a long black coat draped over the back of his chair. _Extra nice, I bet he looks good in that_. At that moment he shook his head, as though he was bringing himself to his senses and turned the book the right way up. It was then that she recognised the book. _Ooh Beyond Decay, that’s one of my favourites, maybe I could go and discuss it with him? Or would that look a bit creepy? Particularly when you only like him for his coat….or…well all of his clothes actually. And his face isn’t that bad, it’s difficult to tell when he’s looking down. No, no, that’s enough now, do some work!_

 She slumped in her seat. _This is a nightmare, I can’t live somewhere with this many people, I can’t think clearly at all._ She sat up properly and rapped her knuckles on the table, earning her a few dirty looks from the people on the next table. The sugar rush from the tea was starting to affect her and with one last pull on her hair she decided it would be better to go outside. She shoved the book into her bag and fought her way through the crowds of people to the door. She’d been wearing her coat indoors, but had to do it up when the cold wind started blowing it about her. She hurried down the road and into a green space about the university buildings. Due to the weather there were very few people about outside, and those did not hang around. She headed for the nearest tree and sat under it, her long green coat bunched under her. It wasn’t dry, but she didn’t mind, it was quiet _thank God_. She leaned her head back against the trunk and closed her eyes, breathing in the chill air and soaking up the peace. She didn’t want to damage her book so she left it in her bag, she’d hopefully be able to write when she got home, if the boys were not being too rowdy.

‘Are you ok?’ a deep voice said from somewhere above her. She opened her eyes to see a dark haired figure in a long black coat standing in front of her. _It’s him, it’s Mr upside down book._

‘Erm, yeah I’m fine, just sort of…sitting under a tree…as you do…’ she said awkwardly. _Damn I underestimated his face, it’s better than any of his clothes._

‘I saw you in the café down the road, you looked a bit stressed.’ He said; she blinked at him. _Him and his gorgeous face. But wait… was he watching me?_

‘I could say I thought the same about you. Not many people read a book the wrong way up.’ He laughed to himself and sat next to her. _Is he actually blushing?_ He was, pink was colouring his cheeks and he lifted a hand to rub his face.

‘You saw that then?’

‘Yeah, sorry, I’ve been struggling to write and I looked up and that was the first thing I noticed. That and the stinking crowds.’ She said dully, pulling her coat round her a little more as a gust of wind hit them.

‘Yeah, they can block the creative juices; you couldn’t hear yourself think in there.’

‘Tell me about it, do you write then? Or maybe some other arty thing?’ she asked

‘Yeah, I’m an author.’ he said casually, but Emily’s interest had been caught and she exclaimed

‘Really?! Wow, anything I’ll have heard of?’

‘I wrote the book I was pretending to read…’ he said reluctantly

‘WHAT?! You wrote Beyond Decay?!’ Emily blurted, interrupting him.

‘Yes, you know it then?’ he was frowning at her, surprised that she had recognised the book from across the crowded room.

‘It’s one of the best books I have ever read, the amount of research that must have had to do about Richard the third. And the characters are all so three dimensional. And the twist at the end…I swear I have read it ten times and I still never think it’s going to end like that!’ She said, sighing at the memory of the many enjoyable hours she had spent turning the pages of her own battered copy.

‘I’m glad I have a fan.’

‘I’m sure if people read it they would love it. I keep trying to get Aid and Dean to read it, but they don’t read much when they have Uni work to do.’

‘Aid and Dean?’ He asked, now raising an eyebrow.

‘My housemates. We’re all studying here, but we’re “mature students”, although I use that term very lightly, so we started to rent the house together from our first year.’

‘And you study the same things?’

‘Er, no. I’m sorry but this is really weird, you’re my favourite author and you’re asking _me_ questions. This is the wrong way round.’ She said, suddenly remembering the backwards nature of their meeting. ‘Why did you follow me anyway? Surely not because you were worried for my mental state?’

‘Err no not exactly. I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?’ she stared at him. _Ok, what the hell is happening? This man, who I’ve been dying to meet for five years, who can’t put his picture in his book for fear of causing mass knickers destruction –well I don’t know that, but look at him, it’s probably the reason – is asking me out? I’m dreaming._

‘Me? Are you sure?’ she asked, pointing at herself.

‘Yeah I am…You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I’m here for a book launch in two days’ time and it would be nice to have some educated company.’ There was a pause while she thought about what he’d just said.

‘When you decided to follow me you had no idea if I was educated or not.’ She said slowly.

‘Touché, but the offer still stands.’ He said calmly.

‘And you’re not married?’

‘No.’

‘Or have a girlfriend?’

‘No.’

‘Boyfriend?’

‘I would hardly be asking you out if I had any of those.’

‘So you’re definitely asking me out?’

‘Yes.’

‘Ok.’

‘What?’

‘I would love to go for dinner.’ She said, finally running out of questions. ‘Although I find it hard to believe that you’re really single.’ He shrugged and stood up, offering her his hand to help her to her feet.

‘I’m a bit of a bore really. Apparently some women don’t find the in depth details of the battle of Hastings an interesting subject.’

‘The battle of Hastings? Is this for a new book?’ she asked brightly, looking up at his face. They were now standing under the tree; he had kept her hand in his but she hadn’t noticed. His eyes were so intense that her stomach had started turning and she lacked ability to do anything other than stare into them.

‘Yes…It’s a personal obsession of mine, well, history in general. I’ve been working on this one on and off since I was at school.’

‘I can’t wait to read it.’

‘Don’t get too excited. You might not even like it.’ He said modestly. _Unlikely, I’ve liked all of your books so far._

‘I’m sure I will. When and where would you like me tomorrow?’ she said, _you could have phrased that better, brain._ ‘Err I mean…’ she mumbled, trying to correct herself, but he chuckled

‘Yeah I got it. How about outside that café? I’ve been eyeing up a quiet little pub just outside of town, I can pick you up from there at about seven? And drop you home after.’ 

‘Ok, seven it is. Wow, you understand that you’re going to be asked so many questions about your writing? Because I won’t be able to help myself.’

‘That is just fine.’ He said, not looking phased at all. She stared for a moment longer

‘I should probably get home.’ She said finally ‘I don’t think my coat is as waterproof as I’d thought.’

‘Good idea, don’t get cold.’ She turned to leave. ‘Hold on, what’s your name?’ he called after her, raising his voice over the sound of the rain that was magnified as they stepped apart. _Oh you didn’t even tell him your name? What a tit._

‘I’m Emily.’ She said

‘Richard.’

‘Yeah I know.’

 

Emily unlocked the door of her shared house and squelched into the hall. She kicked off her boots and tip toed further into the house, trying as hard as possible not to drip everywhere. She loved their house, it was messy and colourful, and it made her feel like she was home. Dean and Aidan were easy to live with. Both of them were very relaxed, never tidied up and stayed up watching gross programs on the TV until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes she wondered how the hell they ever made their deadlines, but they did and well at that. The only issue, which was never talked about, was the first six months of living in the house when she and Aidan had been sleeping together. It was great while it lasted _, really great_ , but it didn’t last. It was an uncomfortable couple of weeks after, but it cleared and so long as they didn’t talk about it life carried on as normal. Just without the sex. Which was probably a relief for Dean, and Emily was amazed at how much more time she seemed to have. Her poetry book had got a hammering out of mere boredom and her essays were finished way before their due dates.

‘Is anyone in the kitchen?’ she shouted as she crossed the threshold into the sitting room.

‘I am, Em’ Dean’s voice called back. ‘Tea?’

‘Oh Deano you’re a star. I need dry clothes, I’ll be back down in a mo.’ she said as she continued to the stairs and began to make her way up them. Dean and Aidan occupied the two rooms on the first floor while Emily lived in the converted attic. It may be further to walk but she had her own en suite, which given she was the only girl in the house she felt she deserved. _That and the boys’ can’t half stink out their bathroom; I’d need a bloody gas mask to go in there_. She had just reached the first floor landing when she bumped into Aidan on his way downstairs.

‘Fucking hell Mill, where have you been?’ he said stepping back and taking a good look at her, his dark eyes taking in every detail, from her socks that were saturated with water, to her sopping black hair.

‘Outside? It’s a hazard of living in England, it rains.’ She replied sarcastically.

‘I’m only from Ireland Milly, it rains there too. But why didn’t you get a taxi home if it’s so bad out there, I didn’t know it was raining that heavily.’

‘It’s not _that_ bad. I’ve just been standing in it for a while.’

‘Why the hell were you standing in it?’

‘Because I thought it would be quicker than taking a shower this evening.’ She said and tried to duck past him, but he caught her hand softly with his fingers and stopped her.

‘Mill? What’s up?’ he said, his eyes wide and concerned. _Oh this is awkward_. Neither of them had started seeing anyone else since they had split. She had always just assumed that Aidan would be the first one to find someone new, but apparently not, and now this…

‘I’ve been asked on a date tomorrow night.’ She said hesitantly, _he would find out at some point anyway,_ she reasoned.

‘Oh.’ He said, releasing her hand. ‘Oh, where?’

‘I don’t know a pub. He’s picking me up.’ She said. He looked quite taken aback and was not looking her in the eye.

‘I didn’t think you liked anyone on your course.’

‘I don’t, he’s not on my course. I met him in Hampton’s café.’

‘And stood in the rain with him?’

‘It was noisy in there.’

‘I forget you don’t like noise unless you’re making it.’ He snapped

‘You never used to complain.’ She retorted, knowing exactly what that comment was referring to. ‘Aid, life can’t stay like this forever.’

‘Oh God, yeah, yeah, I’m sorry Milly, I know I said I wasn’t going to be like this. I was just surprised. What’s he like?’

‘He seemed very nice.’ She said

‘…Good. Has Dean put the kettle on?’

‘I think so.’ He nodded and went down the stairs. _Well that was fucking brilliant._ She ran up the rest of the stairs and into her room, peeling her clothes off as she went. _I hate having wet feet,_ she thought as her socks came off. She pulled on a pair of leggings and a t shirt that was far too big for her and almost came down to her knees. Yanking her hair into a bun she made her way downstairs to find both her housemates in the kitchen, a mug of coffee in each pair of hands.

‘Hey Em.’ Dean said, pointing at the mug on the table.

‘Thanks.’ She replied and picked up the mug and took a gulp. Dean and Aidan had always called her different things. It was quite handy really; she always knew who was calling her, as if the accent differences didn’t indicate that enough.

‘I ordered a pizza for dinner. And garlic bread.’ Dean said brightly. He was the eldest of the three at thirty three. _But they were both as childish as the other_. Aidan was six years younger than Dean and Emily was two years younger than Aidan. They all had different accents, came from different backgrounds and were taking different courses. But for all that they got along very well. A little too well, many of the neighbours thought. Nosey old people with too much time on their hands from some of the looks they would give her.

‘Awesome, how much do I owe you?’ she asked after taking another gulp of tea.

‘Dunno, a fiver? You always eat less than us anyway.’  

‘Ok, I’ll leave you the money in the morning.’ They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

‘That’ll be the pizza.’ Dean said, dumping his empty mug in the washing up bowl and legging it to the door. Emily looked up at Aidan.

‘It’s alright Mill, I’m ok about this.’ He said with a half-smile.

‘The Pizza? I know, God knows what Dean’s ordered, who left him in charge?’ she said, Knowing what he meant but trying to change the subject.

‘No, I mean…you know.’

‘Oh...’ she nodded ‘Thanks Aid.’

‘What’s he done now?’ Dean said, bursting back into the kitchen holding a couple of large pizza boxes.

‘Left you in charge of the food. What have we got?’ she asked, turning to grab herself a plate from the cupboard behind her. To her relief he’d got a chicken and bacon topping. _Thank the Lord for bacon,_ and she took her slices out of the box and went to sit in the living room. She switched on the TV and started to look for the elusive remote control.

‘Deano? Where’s the remote?’ She asked, searching under the cushions for it one handed.

‘Here.’ He said, pulling it out from where he had hidden it, down his jeans.

‘Oh for fucks sake, I told you not to keep doing that! It’s going to be all warm now and everything!’

‘Well, me and Aidan want to watch embarrassing bodies and we knew you’d change the channel if you got here first.’ He said as Aidan set the pizza box down in the middle of the sofa between them.

‘I don’t know how you two can eat while you’re watching that, it’s disgusting.’

‘I need to watch it for my course, it’s educational.’ Aidan said. _It’s a biology course; it doesn’t state that watching embarrassing bodies is part of it._

‘I’m going to eat in the kitchen. Don’t drop crumbs on the sofa.’ She said finally and walked back the way she’d come. There was a small breakfast table in the kitchen; it was just big enough for four people to sit around. But as there were only three of them living there it meant that there was always an unoccupied seat. She sat in her usual chair and stared out of the kitchen window into their small dark garden while she ate as quickly as she could. The noises coming from the living room were almost as bad as watching the program itself and were punctuated with equally nauseating comments. After clearing her plate Emily got up to rinse it when there was an eruption of sound from the next room.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, has he not been able to use it? How do you function without it?’ Dean’s voice said

‘I didn’t even know that was a colour.’

‘Is that mould?’

‘It’s mould.’

‘I wouldn’t even want to touch it.’

‘Imagine the smell.’

‘I’d rather not.’

She was glad when the sound of the water gushing from the tap blocked out their commentary and left the plate to drain on the sideboard so that she could escape quickly to her room. She grabbed her laptop from her desk and sat down on her bed waiting for it to load. _Stupid old laptop_. When it was done she opened Google and typed in _Richard Armitage_.


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh shit._

 

Emily woke the next morning to find herself still wearing yesterday’s clothes and her laptop on its side. She must have fallen asleep while she was researching last night. Consequently her alarm clock had not been set and she was running late for a meeting with her tutor. She jumped into the shower before the water had warmed up and washed her hair faster than she had had to in a long time. Not bothering to dry it she stuck it back up into a bun, threw on some clothes and legged it to the door without her coat.

‘Dean, are you going out today?’ she shouted up the stairs.

‘No, duvet day.’ He replied, from his room by the muffled sound of his voice.

‘Can I borrow your coat?’ She said, grabbing off of its hook and starting to pull it on while she waited for an answer.

‘Yeah.’

‘Thanks.’ She yelled and ran out of the door. _Oh, why is it still raining? Stupid bloody winter._

 He tutor was not pleased at her delay and hurried the discussion of her latest essay to the extent that she was leaving the room much earlier than she had expected. She looked at her watch to see that it was only eleven. _Great, I’ve got hours to kill before seven._ She walked home slowly, stomping childishly in puddles as she went. It was a nervous thing, trying to block out thoughts of what she found on the internet last night. _No, not like that_.She had found several youtube interviews with Richard talking about his books over the years. She didn’t know why she hadn’t looked for them earlier; he had an amazing understanding of all of his characters and knew exactly how they fitted into history. He could convey their importance and significance without showing the slightest sign of arrogance or pretention in himself. He seemed shy and unassuming and it was possibly one of the most attractive things she had ever witnessed.

 She was now as anxious as sin didn’t know how she was going to cope with the rest of the day. Luckily for her Dean was having a duvet day, which meant he was going to be on the sofa with a couple of massive blankets and a constant supply of hot drinks. The thought was enough to make her pick up her pace and stop splashing in the puddles. She arrived home and rushed to get changed out of her wet clothes and put Dean’s coat on a radiator. She hurried into the living room to find both Dean and Aidan on the sofa underneath the same duvet.

‘I thought you had a lecture this morning?’ she asked Aidan, slipping into the small space next to him that they had left at the end and pulled the duvet so that it was covering her too.

‘Skipping.’ He said, not turning his eyes from the TV. She followed his gaze to the screen.

‘Wait, you guys are having a Lord of the Rings marathon aren’t you? Why wasn’t I called in on this?’

‘You were out!’ Dean said.

‘I’m back now! Are we watching theatrical or extended?’

‘Extended.’

‘Good.’ She said. They cannot have been watching for too long, they hadn’t even reached Rivendell yet, so she remained silent to watch. Time passed and before she knew it they needed to put the next DVD on. Dean went to the TV while Emily went into the kitchen and put the kettle on.

‘You guys want coffee yeah?’ she called.

‘Yeah.’ They replied. _They’re being a miserable pair of bastards today._ She poured water into the mugs and made her way back to the sofa trying not to spill anything from them. They were all sitting back where they were; mugs in hand watching from where they had left off when Dean spoke.

‘Em, who’s Richard Armitage?’ she jumped and nearly spilt her drink. She put it down on the lamp table beside her, deciding that it was going to be safer there.

‘How did you know about him?’

‘When I went to borrow your DVDs I saw a window open on your laptop.’ _Shit, did I really leave that open?_ ‘I couldn’t help seeing it…’

‘Oh…ok. I met him yesterday. He’s taking me for dinner tonight.’

‘What? You’re going on date? Did you know about this Aid?’ Dean said, sitting up and staring from Emily to Aidan.

‘Yeah I did. Didn’t know it was him though.’ Aidan said, sinking further under the blanket.

‘Who’s him?’ Dean asked

‘That author that she’s obsessed with.’

‘I am still in the room you know.’ She said crossly ‘And I am not obsessed; he’s just written most of my favourite books.’

‘You were searching him on the internet! It kind of makes you look a little…’

‘I wanted to make sure the man I met was actually him and not some random creep.’ She interrupted.

‘He could still be a creep.’ Aidan said, looking up at her over the top of the blanket.

‘Yeah, did the internet tell you he wasn’t a creep?’ Dean joined in. _For fucks sake_ , _this is quickly becoming a nightmare._

‘Oh God.’ She said, burying her face in her hands.

‘I think we should come too, just to make sure you’re ok.’ Dean said and Aidan nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

‘No! Definitely not.’

‘What if he murders you? We don’t want that shit on our conscience!’ Aidan said 

‘And I don’t need you two following me around! I’m a big girl now, I’ll be fine.’ She said, hoping that that would be the end of the matter, but she was wrong.

‘Well, we’re going to make sure you get there safely; then we can check this guy out ourselves before you go.’ Dean persisted

‘Yeah, where are you meeting him?’ she leant her head back and sighed.

‘Outside Hamptons. He’s picking me up and we’re going somewhere out of town.’ She said, resigning herself to the fact that if she didn’t tell them, they’d only follow her there anyway.

‘You’re getting in a car with a strange man? That’s a recipe for kidnap!’ Dean exclaimed

‘ I moved into a _house_ with _two_ strange men when we started living together! That could have gone as pear-shaped as anything you’re implying right now! You can come with me to the café, but nothing more, understand?’

‘But…’

‘No, if you don’t agree then I won’t let you come at all!’ she said, cutting Dean off before he could get started on an objection.

‘Ok, but if we think he looks really creepy will you come home?’ Aidan asked.

‘No. But if I’m not back by midnight or if I haven’t called you by then, I give you permission to call the cops.’ She said, trying to find a compromise.

‘How will we know where to look?’ Dean said, finally thinking to pause the film.

‘I will text you when I get there. Are you happy now?’ she said and was pleased to see them both nod their heads. ‘Honestly guys, you’re worse than my dad!’

 

 

 

‘You’re wearing that are you?’ Aidan said as Emily appeared in the living room later that evening. She looked down at what she was wearing and scowled at him. She had spent ages in her room trying to decide whether it was better to wear something sensible or sexy. Eventually she chose a mixture of the two, her favourite black dress that made her boobs look fantastic and a sensible pair of black boots. Her green coat had dried so she thought she’d risk wearing it, it wasn’t raining yet so she hoped its waterproof abilities might not be put to the test.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ she asked.

‘It’s a bit much for a first date isn’t it? How far were you planning on going?’

‘I’m not planning on going anywhere. I just don’t know what this place he’s taking me to is like and I don’t want to turn up in a t shirt and jeans if it’s nice.’ She argued ‘and anyway, I like it.’

‘You like what?’ Dean said, coming through the door from the kitchen and slumping down on the sofa. He looked up at the pair of them and surveyed her outfit ‘Aren’t your tits going to get cold?’

‘Can we please leave my breasts out of the conversation please?’

‘With all due respect, they are kind of making their way into it of their own accord.’ Aidan piped up; she turned to find him staring at her chest.

‘Guys really, they’re not big enough to do that!’

‘Oh no, they’re just fine.’ Said Dean, eyes fixed in the same direction as Aidan’s. _Men, they’re all the bloody same._

‘Enough, I’m putting them away.’ She said, pulling her coat on and buttoning it all the way up to the top. ‘Are you guys ready yet?’

‘Yeah, hurry up Deano; we have a job to do.’ Aidan said and they all followed out one after the other.

 Dean and Aidan walked on either side of Emily like bodyguards as they walked into town in the dark, making light conversation about their own plans for the evening. Emily gathered that they were getting a takeaway on their way home and then watching some more manky programs on TV. She walked in silence, feeling more and more nervous about the upcoming evening. They reached Hamptons Café with five minutes to spare. _Now I get five minutes of waiting in the cold in awkward silence, great._

_‘_ So, you’re going to text us when you’re there, yeah?’ Aidan said, poking her in the ribs.

‘I will, but I’m sure it’s all going to be fine.’ She said checking the clock on her phone. _Two minutes_. At that moment a big silver land rover pulled up in front of them and the door opened.  

‘Is that the guy?’ Aidan whispered in Emily’s ear.

‘Yeah.’

‘He’s taller than me.’ Aidan muttered

‘And me.’ Dean added.

‘Most people are taller than you, Dean.’ Emily said her heart fluttering as she stepped towards the man she had been gazing at on her laptop most of the night before. ‘Hi, Richard, this is Dean and Aidan, my housemates. Guys this is Richard. They came to make sure I was ok walking here in the dark.’ She explained to him as he was looking a little confused at her. _Argh, obviously it looks weird with me bringing those two with me. Definitely should have thought of that._

‘Oh, that was very kind of you.’ He said, reaching to shake both their hands. They looked taken aback by his friendliness but Aidan had recovered enough to say

‘We just wanted to make sure she’s safe, you know.’

‘Of course, I completely understand.’ Richard said, turning to Emily ‘Are you ready?’ she nodded

‘Thanks guys, have a nice evening.’ She said as she stepped away from them towards the car.

‘Alright Em we’ll see you later.’ Dean said

‘Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.’ Aidan called as Dean pushed him to get moving. She walked round to the passenger side of the car and found Richard holding the door open for her. _Gentleman_.

‘Thank you.’ She said as she climbed up into the seat. He smiled and shut the door before making his way round to the driver’s side and got in.

‘Your friends seem nice.’ He said as he turned on the engine and pulled away.

‘They are; they’re great to live with. A bit immature at times, but it’s quite funny really.’

‘I gathered they were the only people you share a house with, or are there more?’

‘No, it’s just the boys. It has its plusses and its minuses, but generally it’s good.’ She said, not mentioning that the biggest minus for her was how often she had to shave her legs, knowing what horrified expressions would be on their faces if she didn’t. ‘Is this your car?’

‘No, I hired it for a few days. I was expecting snow so I went for the land rover, although there hasn’t been any yet.’

‘At least you’re prepared.’ She said, peering out of the window to try and work out where they were going ‘I learned to drive in a land rover, but it was a Defender rather than a Discovery.’

‘Really? That’s an interesting choice.’ He said taking his eyes off the road momentarily to watch her surveying the limited view from her window.

‘Dad had an old one he used to take hay to the cows with. It hadn’t left the farm in years before I started driving it, but there was no way he’d let me near his Discovery.’

‘Farm?’ he questioned

‘I grew up on a dairy farm.’

‘Ah, now the car thing makes sense. Did you like it?’ she paused for a moment.

‘Yes, for the most part. The country air was lovely, and cattle are nice animals. But my mother would dip in and out of health…and having three younger sisters was a bit tiresome, not to mention having a father that was determined to marry me off to the son of the stinking rich farmer next door. But it was fine.’

‘Is you’re mother ok?’ he asked, a concerned note in his voice.  _A man that asks for the health of my mother, I must have strayed into a dream_.

‘She died, three years ago.’ She said quietly

‘Oh I’m sorry if I…’ he stumbled, looking embarrassed

‘No, no, you’re not a mind reader; I didn’t expect you to know.’ She said, reaching out impulsively and put her hand on his leg. He flinched and she jumped back. _Oh fuck_. She began to stammer an apology at the same time as he started to, so neither of them heard what each other was saying. This was followed by a suffocating pause.

‘Oh God, this is awkward.’ She mumbled.

‘I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting…’ he reached out and put his hand on the green material covering her thigh ‘this.’ She put her hand over his to keep it there.

‘You have really long fingers.’ She observed, examining his hands carefully. ‘Do you play the piano?’

‘No, not well anyway.’ He said, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

‘Shame, hands like yours were built to play the piano.’

‘They were built to do other things as well.’ She stiffened and looked up at him ‘Like to help me change gear, we’re coming up to a roundabout. I could do with my hand back for a moment.’ He said but after he had negotiated it his hand returned to its previous position on her leg. He asked her a few polite questions about her course and asked her if she was warm enough.

‘We’re nearly there, are you hungry?’ he asked. _No, my tummy turned to jelly the moment you put your hand on my leg_.

‘Yeah, where are we going?’

‘It’s called the Bear and Ragged Staff, do you know it?’

‘I’ve heard of it but never been.’ She said, remembering her tutor rave about it the previous year.

‘My publisher recommended it. He suggested I tried to get out. I normally prefer to stay in and watch a film or something when I’m doing a signing the next day, but he thinks it would be good for my confidence to go out.’ He said bitterly.

‘Don’t you feel confident enough when you normally do signings?’ she asked

‘I feel fine. They’re not really the sort of place where you stop and chat, and I’m confident enough with my material to answer any questions about it. Graham has been my friend since school; I think he’s decided that my life is unhealthy.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I live alone and write books about conflicts that happened hundreds of years ago.’ He said as he drove the car into the car park and pulled into a space

‘That sounds perfectly normal to me. I’d say your lifestyle was unhealthy if you were drowning kittens or sacrificing goats or eating a million hotdogs a day…’

‘A million hotdogs? Is that even possible?’

‘Well, I don’t mean it literally…but you get when I mean, there are far worse pursuits than yours.’

‘You can tell Graham that if you meet him.’ He said, opening his door and stepping out, letting the chill air into the warm interior of the car. She had barely opened her own door when he reached it to help her out. She took his proffered hand and jumped down, taking a good look at her surroundings and the man still holding onto her hand. He was wearing very similar clothes to what she had seen him in before. The long coat, _still looking fabulous,_ a black shirt collar peeping out over the top of it. He slammed the door and locked the car

‘Let’s get out of the cold.’ He said and they walked inside. Richard let go of her hand once they were inside to politely ask one of the staff about a reservation that Graham had made for him. Emily began to unbutton her coat; it was very warm inside and she didn’t want to be sweating buckets before they’d even sat down. The waitress led them to a table near the fire and he guided Emily to a seat. _He’s going to do the chair thing; no one’s ever done that for me before_.

‘I thought only men in the films I’ve seen do this.’ She said gesturing at the chair as she pulled off her coat and lay it down on it before sitting down herself.

‘You have clearly not been treated properly.’ He said sitting across the table from her and looking at her properly for the first time in the light of the fire. She saw him gulp and his eyes flicker to and from her shyly. _Great, men are not all the same, maybe I should have dressed like a nun after all_. ‘You look lovely.’ _Maybe not_.

‘Thank you. I’ve never really been taken out anywhere before. Neither of my exes really did the stereotypical dating.’ She admitted, willing his eyes to look back at her permanently.

‘I hope it lives up to what you expect.’ He said as the waitress came back to order drinks and give them menus. They had a short discussion concerning the food before ordering. Emily tried to settle herself down and asked Richard several burning questions about his books. Their conversation soon became animated and by the time the starters arrived she had calmed herself down enough to eat hungrily _. Thank God, it was so good_.

‘I am so surprised you have read so many of my books. Several times by the sound of it, you know them better than I do.’ he said. His shyness seemed to have vanished somewhat and he was leaning back casually as the plates from their mains were taken away.

‘I don’t, you have answered every single question I’ve asked without one hesitation. You obviously love your subject.’ He nodded and reached for the glass of red wine he’d been sipping all evening.

‘Are you sure you don’t want any wine? I can get you a glass now to have with dessert.’ He said looking at her half full glass of orange juice.

‘No thank you, I’ve been steering clear of alcohol since the terrible incident the last time I got drunk.’ She said as a look of intrigue spread across Richards face.

‘What happened?’ he asked, leaning forward and leaning his elbows on the table.

‘I don’t know if I really want to tell you.’ She said, blushing at the thought of it.

‘Was it really that bad?’

‘Well, no, I didn’t break the law or anything. I’m just worried you’re going to look at me differently if I tell you. Because I’m not proud of it.’

‘What if I said that I promise I wouldn’t judge you?’ he said, his voice deep and velvety. _The kind of voice that could get me to do anything_.

‘Promise?’ she said reluctantly

‘Promise.’

‘I woke up in bed with Dean.’

‘Oh.’

‘Unable to remember anything about the night before.’

‘Oh. Do you think you had sex?’ he asked slowly and calmly. She blushed even harder and stared down at the table.

‘I generally judge what I have been doing the night before by the amount of clothes I wake up in.’

‘And you weren’t wearing anything?’

‘Not a sock. It was one of the most embarrassing incidents of my life. Thankfully Aid hadn’t come home that night or we’d have had a lot of explaining to do.’

‘What did it have to do with Aidan?’ _Jesus, this was not the type of thing I wanted to be talking about this evening._

‘I went out with Aid for a few months. It had long ended by that point, but it was awkward enough after we split, I didn’t want all that again.’

‘Ok, well, as you say, it’s not that bad, but I can understand why you’d prefer to keep away from alcohol. Would you like a dessert?’ he said. She looked up at him to see a questioning smile on his face and no sign of displeasure. She smiled back

‘I would love one. Did I see a hot chocolate pudding with chocolate ice cream on the specials board?’

‘Ah, you were eyeing that up too. Good choice.’

 Emily was glad that Richard, _the amazingly handsome man sitting across the table from her_ , was kind enough to move the topic of conversation along quickly so that her earlier confession was soon forgotten. They were just finishing their chocolate puddings when the group of people sitting on a table behind them got up to leave. One of the men had a long brightly coloured tattoo running down his arm that drew both of their eyes.

‘That’s a bit bright.’ Richard said once they were out of earshot.

‘It is a bit. I think it had aliens on it.’ She recalled. He shook his head in disbelief. Emily tapped her spoon on her teeth. ‘I have a tattoo.’ She said quietly, almost hoping that he wouldn’t hear.

‘You have one?’ he asked, she nodded and she saw his eyes dart searchingly over every inch of bare skin on her arms and shoulders ‘where?’

‘I’ll show you in the car.’ She said, her lips twitching nervously when she saw his eyes widen. ‘It’s nothing dirty; I just don’t think it’s appropriate when we’re in here.’

‘Ok then, would you like a tea or coffee?’

‘No thank you, I’ll be peeing all night if I do.’ she said making him laugh

‘What a lovely image.’

 

Twenty minutes later they were walking back out to the car. Emily hadn’t put her coat back on as she thought she’d have to take it off when she got in the car to fulfil her promise of showing him her tattoo. A thought that was making her regret her decision to tell him she had one. By the time they had crossed the car park and he was helping her into the car she was shivering from the cold. As she sat in the car waited for him to get into the driver’s side she looked around to make sure they wouldn’t be observed. Luckily it was empty of cars nearby and once he was settled in his seat next to her she switched the light in the car on so it wouldn’t turn off now the doors were shut.

‘You might have to lean over a bit; it’s on my left side.’ She said, undoing the dress’s zip under her left arm. She glanced up to see him firmly averting his eyes.

‘Richard, you need to look at me if you want to see it.’

‘I err, didn’t know whether you wanted a minute to get ready…’ he said, looking straight at her, blinking furiously.

‘No it’s ok.’ She said, opening the gap in her dress to show in the thin black writing on her ribcage. He frowned and leant towards her as she angled her body so he could see it. He squinted and read out

‘”I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.” Hamlet I believe?’ he said, reaching his hand out to run his long index finger over her skin. She let out a sharp intake of breath at his touch and looked up into his eyes, which were much closer than they were when she’d taken her gaze from them. The hand that was not touching the skin on her side, rose up to her cheek; his thumb stroking her lips.

‘Can I kiss you?’ he murmured. She nodded, unable to resist the power of his voice, and he leant in to plant his lips on hers. She had never felt so nervous about a kiss, she had thought she had buggered up any chances of it earlier and wasn’t expecting anything. He was warm and gentle and tasted of chocolate pudding. She didn’t feel cold anymore, she only felt him. She wrapped her arms round his shoulders, encouraging him on. All too soon he pulled back.

‘I…I won’t be able to drive…’ he stammered, unable to finish his sentence, but she knew what he meant. The adrenaline rush had made her feel dizzy and he looked flushed and breathless. She noticed her dress had slipped down further and hurried to fix it and do it back up.

‘Good plan.’ She said, reaching up to turn the light off. Richard turned on the engine and they set off home in silence, Emily leaning back in her seat, her heart still thumping loudly in her chest.


	3. Chapter 3

‘So, does that quote mean something to you, or do you just like the play?’ Richard asked. They had spent the last five minutes driving in silence but Emily was glad he broke it. She didn’t know what to say at all. She had put her coat back on, _that was a struggle_ , but she had been cold and the heating wasn’t doing anything to warm her up.

‘I do love the play. I love Shakespeare in general but Hamlet is one of my favourites. The quote is close to my heart though.’

‘Oh?’ he said, prompting her to elaborate.

‘I don’t think I’ve had a difficult life, but there have been rough patches.’ She gulped ‘In this case I wanted to remind myself that I was something more than what I had been accused of.’

‘Accused?’ he questioned. Emily was just thinking about an answer when she realised something that made her blood run cold.

‘Fuck, fuckity fuckity fuck. Oh shit.’ She said fumbling in her coat pocket for her phone.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ Richard said quickly, trying to look at her while he was driving. She had found her phone by now and had unlocked it to find dozens of missed calls and texts from Dean and Aidan. _I forgot to text them where I was going, how did I forget?_

‘Bloody bollocks!’ she said as she started to read through the texts

‘Are you ok?’ Richard asked, a frown now marring his features.

‘Oh God, I don’t know.’ She paused for a moment to read a couple more. None of them were that bad, they hadn’t called anyone yet, other than her, eighteen times. _I must have left my phone on silent from my meeting with my tutor this morning._ ‘I was meant to text the boys to let them know where we were going tonight in case you turned out to be an axe murderer or something and they had to give my last known whereabouts. But I forgot.’ She said, and promptly burst into tears.

‘Shit, you’re crying.’ He said finding a place at the side of the road to pull the car into and stop.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just a natural reaction.’ She said, he undid his seatbelt to reach across to her and place his hands encouragingly on her shoulders.

‘This is a natural reaction?!’ he said looking concerned.

‘I just feel so guilty.’ She said. Those beautiful eyes of his felt like they were trying to past her, into her. She felt uncomfortable, he didn’t scare her, but she didn’t want him to look too closely. She raised her hands to cover her face and protect herself from his gaze.

‘It’s ok, it’s ok, come here.’ He hushed and gently pulled her towards him. She leant her head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her to hold her to him, leaning awkwardly over the gearstick between them. ‘Don’t feel guilty, you forgot and you’re ok. It’s not the end of the world.’

‘I just cannot believe I forgot, Aidan even reminded me just before you arrived.’ She sobbed, his kindness disarming her so that she immediately felt sorry that she’d not wanted him to look at her. The thought made her cry harder.

‘Listen, they will not mind. I’m taking you home in one piece, albeit a little tearful.’ He said pulling back and tilting her face upwards to smile encouragingly at her. _Arh, he’s so nice. I can’t believe I’m crying_. ‘Why don’t you call them now?’

‘That’s a good plan.’ She said, nodding and sitting back in her seat, regretting having to leave the comfort of being so close to him. She dialled Dean’s number with difficulty as her fingers were trembling, and was not surprised when he answered it on the first ring. Trying not to sound tearful she explained to Dean that she was sorry she’d forgot to text them and that she didn’t hear her phone. Dean sounded calm and told her that they’d liked the look of Richard and had decided to leave calling the cops until after midnight. She glanced at Richard occasionally; _this plan must look so cocked up to him. I’m making myself look like the biggest mess up on the planet right now._

She hung up.

‘I’m really sorry Richard. I’ve made myself look like a fucked up whore this evening.’ She said croakily, putting her phone back in her pocket.

‘No you haven’t.’ he said sternly. ‘You’ve made mistakes, you’re human. There’s more than you’ve hinted, and I’m concerned it’s made you react to this extreme.’

‘I’m not _normally_ like this.’ She said, trying to recover the situation.

‘It doesn’t matter if you are normally like this or not, I’m worried.’

‘I think you should take me home before I waste any more of your evening.’ She said as she wiped the remnants of the tears from her face; staring at her feet.

‘You _haven’t_ wasted any of my time and I certainly don’t regret spending an evening in your company.’ He said his voice deep and warm.

‘I must look like such a boob.’

‘You look like an intelligent, kind, sensitive person.’ He said, putting his hand on her leg. ‘You’re shivering.’

‘What?’ she said, surprised as she hadn’t noticed herself getting quite that cold. She turned to see him pulling off his coat ‘No, no Richard, please…’

‘I won’t let you freeze.’

‘But _you’ll_ get cold.’

‘I’ll be fine with the heating in the car.’ He said, laying his long coat over her legs and tucking it in. It was still warm from his body heat; Emily felt her stomach twist.

‘Thank you.’ She said, giving in and smoothing the coat out. ‘You’re so lovely.’ He laughed softly, starting the car again and pulling it back onto the road.

 All was quiet for a few minutes, Emily was weighing up whether to tell him more or not. She didn’t want him to think anything bad had happened, or to think that she was completely crazy. But they’d be home soon and starting a long winded story may not be the best idea.

‘I had a bad breakup with my first boyfriend.’ She said suddenly; not really aware that she had decided on saying anything. _Not thinking before you speak again? What a fucking stupid idea._ She was watching him out of the corner of her eye and saw him nod. ‘It was a bad relationship full stop really.’ He turned his head slightly now, looking troubled. ‘He didn’t hit me or anything, nothing like that.’ She said quickly ‘I didn’t realise at the time, but he was very manipulative, he made me dependant on him.’

‘How long were you with him?’ he asked calmly

‘Two years, until he went to Uni. I had no idea it was coming. I was a total wreck; he called me every name under the sun, made it sound like everything was my fault. He said he knew I’d slept with all his mates, when I’d only ever had sex with him, said I’d stabbed him in the back and betrayed his trust. And I just sat there and took it.’ She sniffed, rubbing under her eyes where her cheeks had started to become sore from the tears.

‘You didn’t argue?’ he said sounding surprised.

‘What do you say when someone comes at you like that? I actually thought he loved me, I couldn’t believe what he was saying.’

‘He sounds like a complete dick.’ He rumbled. Emily laughed bitterly.

‘He was. I lost a lot of friends when I was with him, I didn’t trust anyone. I went to work as a secretary for a law firm with only women lawyers that dealt with women’s cases. When I decided to go to Uni myself, I felt horrible. I didn’t want to live in halls with random new guys. I put an ad out for a house share and Aidan answered. I met him just to rule him out really…but we hit it off. He and Dean have been so good to me; I’m not the person I was when we moved in together. I mean, I would never have gone out with you today wearing _this_ if I was.’ She said gesturing at the low cut neckline on her dress. ‘I don’t want to lose them or I feel like I’d be back to being lonely.’

‘I don’t think you’re in any danger of that. Is that why you were upset? Did you think they’d just ditch you?’ he said, his expression visibly trying to piece together what she had told him.

‘I don’t know. I suppose I know they wouldn’t; I panicked.’

‘How do you feel now?’

‘Much better thank you.’ She said as they arrived into part of Oxford she recognised.

‘Where do you live? I’ll drop you at your door.’ He said. She directed him down a few streets and to her house. She saw all the lights were on downstairs.

‘They’ll be waiting for me.’ She said quietly, biting her lip.

‘Do you want me to take you to your door?’ he asked ‘Or do you think that’ll not do your situation any good?’

‘I think I might be better to go alone. Richard, thank you so much, I had a lovely time, before the crying…’ she started, but he cut her off before she could say any more.

‘So did I, the crying has not changed my opinion on you…Emily, I don’t know if you’re interested, but will you come to the book launch with me tomorrow?’

_What, but I thought I’d ruined everything?!_ _Maybe he’s just being polite…_

‘You want to see me again?’

‘Of course, but only if you want to.’

‘I do, I’d love to.’ She said enthusiastically, not wanting to rule out any opportunity of seeing him again.

‘Great, do you want me to pick you up? Or shall I meet you in the bookshop?’ He smiled

‘I’ll meet you there. I haven’t got my day planned yet. What time will you be there?’

‘I’ll be arriving when they close at 5:30, so then onwards.’

‘Ok, I can do that.’ She said as he got out of the car. She scrambled to free herself from underneath his coat and got out of the car when he opened the door. He took her hand again to help her down but let it go once he’d shut the door to put it on her cheek to lean down and kiss her. She felt herself blush as he stepped back.

‘Until tomorrow?’ he asked and she nodded.

‘Thank you, goodnight.’ She said, taking a backwards step towards her house.

‘Goodnight Emily.’ He said, getting into his car and she turned round to walk to her front door. _Oh bloody hell_. She had glanced at the front window on her way and noticed that both Dean and Aidan were peeping through the curtains. They disappeared when they realised she’d seen them and Emily rushed to unlock the door. She stepped inside to be greeted by a loud chorus of wolf-whistling. She blushed again.

‘You look like you had fun.’ Dean said, smirking over a can of beer.

‘I…I did…you’re not angry at me for not calling you?’ she said haltingly, scrutinising their faces while she pulled off her coat and hung it on the hooks by the front door.

‘We were a bit worried when you didn’t pick up our messages. But after we saw tall, dark and handsome back there it was odds on you were not going to be thinking about us. If you were not back by midnight, we would’ve done something.’ Dean said cheerfully

‘And we wrote down his number plate.’ Aidan added, draining the last drops of beer from his can and crumpling it in his hand

‘So everything’s ok?’ she asked tentatively.

‘You tell us Em, what’s he like?’ Dean replied.

‘He’s lovely. I’m going to his book launch and signing tomorrow. He asked if I would. Which is a total miracle in itself, I behaved like a tit and he still wants to see me again.’

‘You behaved like a tit? What did you do?’ Aidan said, but she shook her head.

‘It doesn’t matter; let’s just say I won’t be writing a poem about it.’ She said wandering through the middle of them and collapsing face first on the sofa, Dean following her. He lifted up her legs and sat underneath them

‘Classy.’

‘I know it.’ She lifted her head and squinted round the room ‘Where’s Aid?’

‘Gone to the fridge for more beer, do you want one?’ he said. She flipped over onto her back and stared at him in disbelief. He clocked her expression and mouthed _oh_.

‘I forgot about that.’

‘You forgot about what?’ They both jumped as Aidan spoke and handed Dean another can.

‘I offered her a beer.’

‘Still off the drink then Milly?’ Aidan asked, shoving her along so he could sit down on her other side.

‘For the foreseeable future.’ She said, closing her eyes, leaning her head back and stretching. Her eyes opened suspiciously when there was silence from either side of her, to find both of them staring resolutely at where her dress had slipped down to reveal somewhat more cleavage than it was meant to ‘Guys! Again?! Really!’ she cried, getting up and pulling her dress up as high as she could. ‘You’ve got to stop doing that!’

‘Well what do you expect?’ Dean said ‘You put them out, we’re going to look!’ she sighed, spending an evening with a perfect gentleman had almost made her forget how ninety nine per cent of male population thinks. _But I suppose they have a point_.

‘I’m going to bed, I have a lecture or something tomorrow, and I don’t want to be late again.’ She said, sleepily running her fingers through her hair. They both murmured goodnights and Dean turned the TV on. She rolled her eyes and stumbled up the stairs. She only had another couple of steps left before she was at her door when she heard feet on the steps behind her. She turned to see Aidan frowning at her and stopped dead.

‘Mill, have you been crying?’ he asked quietly, stepping close to her and wrapping the fingers of one of his hands around her wrist. She put her free hand over his and leaned into his shoulder as he put his arm round her.

‘Yeah.’ She breathed ‘How did you know?’

‘Mill, I know what you look like when you’ve been crying.’ He said, rocking her slightly. _Of course, he’s seen that sight many a time._ ‘Why? Did it really go ok tonight? You can tell me.’

‘I…got upset at myself for forgetting to call you. I made such a horrible mess of this evening, it was going well until we were coming home, then I had one of my freak outs.’

‘Fuck, I thought you were over those.’

‘So did I.’ she said softly, recalling the first time he’d found her curled up, sobbing on the bathroom floor. _Not a high point of my life._

‘Was he ok about it?’

‘Yeah, he stopped the car and everything.’ She pulled her head from his shoulder and looked up at his all too familiar face ‘Aid, he’s a really nice guy. I know…I know that we’re…’ she started but, obviously not liking the way the conversation was turning, he cut in.

‘Milly, please, I don’t think this is the time. I just want you to know I’m here. For anything, you just have to ask.’ He whispered, leaning close to her so she could hear. She reached up and threaded her fingers in his dark, curly hair.

‘I’m so glad you’re here.’


	4. Chapter 4

Emily stumbled downstairs the next morning looking like a complete and utter mess. She had parted with Aidan when he told her Dean thought he’d just gone for a piss. It wouldn’t be long before he’d get suspicious and come and to find him, even if it was just to ask if Aidan needed him to go down to the shops and buy some extra strength constipation relief tablets.

 She had gone to bed feeling tired but unable to sleep.  She tossed and turned under her blankets, wishing that there was someone in the bed next to her. By three in the morning, she was too sexually frustrated to care who it was and ended up going to the kitchen to retrieve a tub of ice cream from the freezer _. Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream was a pretty decent second best to a man_ , she decided. But it was half past four by the time she fell asleep, _and mornings never look too good when I haven’t had enough sleep_.

 She made herself a very milky coffee in an attempt to wake herself up. She normally wasn’t a coffee drinker, but she thought it was worth a try to make her wake up a little more. It didn’t make any difference, unfortunately, so she stopped in at the local shop to buy a can of red bull before having to attempt a lecture. She had checked her diary before she set off to find that today’s lecturer was well known in the University for having a monotonous monotone voice _. I definitely need more energy before that, or I’m going to fall asleep_.

She managed the lecture, just, but made minimal notes. She had come across something new to think about. _Was tonight smart or casual_? She had thought it was probably a casual thing but she wanted to look nice, which then led on to the question of what to wear? _It’s difficult being a girl sometimes_. She got home at lunchtime and promptly fell asleep on the sofa. When she awoke she found a cover had been draped over her.

‘Hello?’ she called, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. No one answered. It looked dull outside, like the day was drawing to a close. _Maybe they’ve gone out?_ She looked at her watch and swore. It was half past four, she had an hour to get ready and she still hadn’t decided what to wear. She ran upstairs but stopped when she reached Dean’s room as the door was open and she saw them both sitting on the bed watching a computer screen with open mouths.

‘Are you watching porn?’ she asked. They both jumped and the laptop fell onto the floor.

‘We don’t watch porn together!’ Aidan exclaimed

‘It’d be too awkward!’ Dean said. She raised her eyebrows

‘What are you doing then?’ she asked, trying to look at what was on the screen. ‘Is that Richard?’ Dean scrambled to pick the laptop from the floor and close the lid.

‘Ermm.’ Aidan mumbled something under his breath, but Emily couldn’t hear it.

‘Guys, it’s ok, you can look at what you want. You’re just not normally up here.’

‘You were asleep.’ Dean said. She sighed and nodded.

‘You can wake me up if I’m in the way, I won’t mind. It would have helped me today, I’m late now.’ She said and made to walk away from the door.

‘It was totally innocent.’ Aidan blurted and she stopped.

‘I’m sure it was.’ She said, not really caring what their motives were.

‘We were looking up his books to try and find one we’d like to read.’ He continued. She rolled her eyes

‘You could have asked me. If you find one you like, they’re all on my book case; just don’t drop them in the bath or something.’ She said and walked away properly this time, before she could get distracted again. A quick shower gave her enough time to decide what to wear so that by the time she was leaving she wasn’t as behind on time as she could have been. She tapped down the road on her heels, setting a quick pace to get to the bookshop on time. She turned the corner and stopped. There was a long queue coming from the closed door of the bookshop. She gaped for a moment and joined the back of the line, glad that she had decided to wear her black jeans rather than anything that showed some leg. It was six o’clock when the line started to move and half past by the time she reached the shop doors. The queue behind her was as long as it was when she had joined it and was glad that she hadn’t overslept any more.

She had never been to a book signing before and wasn’t sure what to do. She picked up one of copies of Richard’s new book “The Higher Calling” and flicked through it while she waited. He finally came into sight. He was sitting behind a table at the back of the shops wearing a grey cardigan over a white shirt and tie. _I genuinely think that man would look make a bin-bag look good_. Minutes passed and she slowly edged closer and closer to his table. She placed her book down in front of him, and he looked up to give her the smile he had greeted every other person with, when his face changed.

‘Emily! I thought you weren’t coming.’ He said standing up quickly and knocking his chair over as he did so.

‘I’ve been in the line.’ She said and a look of realisation spread over his face.

‘I didn’t ask you to come so you could stand out there and wait.’ He said, as a tall, imposing looking man with a bald head and a short, greying beard walked over to see what the hold-up was.

‘Everything ok Rich?’ he asked, looking from Emily to Richard with a frown.

‘Yeah, yeah fine, Emily, this is Graham, Graham, this is Emily who erm, who…’ Richard started to stammer slightly.

‘Richard took me out for a meal last night.’ Emily intervened, reaching out to shake Graham’s hand.

‘Ah yes, he was telling me earlier. Why don’t you come with me and have a cup of tea while he carries on?’ he said. Emily smiled nodded, noticed that Richard looked mildly put out.

‘I’ll see you when you’re done.’ She said, picking up her unsigned book and followed Graham to the other side of the shop and behind the counter, where there was a door and a small office with tea making facilities. She looked back at him before disappearing into the office, he had resumed signing books, smiling and chatting to everyone that stood in front of his table.

‘So, Richard tells me he met you under a tree. Is that right?’ Graham said, pouring some tea into a plastic cup.

‘Yeah, he followed me from a café to check I was ok. I was having writing troubles.’

‘So you write as well do you?’ he asked, handing her the cup so she could add milk and sugar herself.

‘Sort of. I’m studying English at the University and I’ve been writing poetry for a while.’

‘Anything you want to publish?’ he said, leaning back against the table.

‘Nothing I’ve done is good enough to publish.’ She said, blowing on her tea to help it cool down. _I don’t know how but tea in these plastic cups is always hotter than normal person tea_.

‘Well, if you ever do want anything releasing to the public, let me know. Although, I’m not taking on anything new until I get back from this book tour with Richard. But by the summer I should available to talk some things through if you have anything by then.’ She stared at him for a moment, trying to take in everything he had said.

‘Thank you, but it’s unlikely I will have anything by then.’ She paused ‘Are you on the book tour right up until summer?’

‘Yes, pretty much. We’re doing Europe, Australia and the US. He has fans all over the world now, all of whom seem to want a little piece of him.’ Graham said, swigging down the last of the liquid in his plastic cup and turning for a top up. Emily bit her lip. Richard hadn’t told her that he was going away, and for months at that. ‘Have you read any of his books?’ he said with his back to her. She jumped reluctantly out of her thoughts.

‘Yeah, I must confess I’m a bit of a fan. But I had no idea what he looked like. I automatically assumed he’d be…well, you know….not attractive and extremely boring.’ She said. Graham smirked.

‘Yeah, I have a few of those on my books. But Richard’s just quiet.’

‘There isn’t anything wrong with that.’

‘Perhaps not. But you know he wouldn’t let me put his picture in any of his books? He’s a famous writer, has his name in print, his books scattered about across the globe and he still shy’s away from the public. It took months to persuade him to do this.’

‘I don’t think he writes for the fame. He enjoys it and is lucky enough to make money from it.’ She said, half distracted by the sound of loud voices from the line. She went to peer out of the door.

‘You’ve got the measure of him quickly. Good.’ Graham said following her to look into the room outside.

‘Bloody hell.’ She said catching sight of the back of two familiar head ‘what are they doing here?!’

‘Who…’ Graham started, but she’d already darted across the room and approaching line. She grabbed Aidan’s arm and yanked him out of the line and towards the office, Dean following when he saw Aidan vanish backwards.

‘Ooh can I get a coffee?’ Aidan said as he saw the cups stacked in the office.

‘Never mind the coffee Aid, why are you guys here?’ she hissed

‘Well, we decided the book we wanted to read most was this one.’ Aidan said, holding up a hardback copy of the new book ‘and you didn’t have it yet, so we thought we’d buy a copy ourselves.’

‘And get it signed.’ Dean said.

‘Arhh why do you guys have stupid, but…plausible reasons for things?’ she said, finally letting go of Aidan’s arm. At that moment Graham walked over.

‘Good evening gents, I take it you all know each other?’ he asked, his eyes taking in the new faces.

‘Yeah, I’m Aidan, this is Deano, we live together.’ Aidan said, pointing to Dean and Emily.

‘This is Graham, he’s Richard’s publisher.’ Emily said, as a general shaking of hands took place. _At least they haven’t forgotten their manners_.

‘Would you like a drink?’ Graham asked and led them into the office again. They all accepted and settled down in the office. Emily barely spoke. Graham seemed to get on with her two friends remarkably easily, and they were soon talking through what had been on TV over the last few weeks. She leant on the door frame and watched Richard sign his books from a distance, wondering how soon it would be before he left Oxford to carry on with this tour. _Maybe this was a regular thing for him? Calling in on a town or city for a book launch and taking a girl out to dinner only to leave a few days later. Maybe I’ve been too tame for him, what if he was expecting more?_ But she remembered his manner the previous night. He didn’t come across as a player; she had given him an opportunity that he didn’t take. She tried to push the thought to the back of her mind, but the vision of him, perhaps in America, finding another woman made her uncontrollably jealous.

‘Has the queue died down yet?’ Graham said, making her start and spill some of her, now cold, tea down her front. She looked up to see only five more people waiting in line. She went back into the office to find something to dry herself with, which caused Aidan and Dean to burst into laughter. But by the time she was done the signing was finally over; Graham was walking to the door of the bookshop to shut it while they helped the manager tidy up. Richard stood up, massaging his hand, and walked over to where Emily was standing, now alone.

‘Hello.’ He said, and leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. She was pleasantly surprised as she hadn’t expected him to be quite so forward, but kissed him back, putting her hands on his chest. ‘Oh, you’re wet.’ He said, pulling back. Emily’s eyes widened

‘Wh-What?...oh, oh you mean my top.’ She said, noticing his hands had travelled so that his thumbs were over her stomach. ‘I spilt my tea.’

‘Was is it hot? Are you ok?’ he said sounding concerned.

‘I’m fine, it was cold.’ Gesturing to the table he’s just got up from she said ‘How did it go?’

‘Good, I’m lucky; I think I must have the best fan base in the world.’ He said, glancing up from her face ‘Are they your housemates?’ she turned to see Aidan and Dean helping Graham put the shop back to its original state.

‘Yeah, they came to get a copy of your book. But I think they might now be besties with Graham.’ She sighed ‘at least they’re making themselves useful.’

‘Yes, it looks like they’ve saved me a job.’ He said. She noticed he’d returned to rubbing his hand and asked

‘Hard work?’ he chuckled.

‘There were more of them then I’d expected.’

‘You’ll have to get used to it if you’re taking this tour round the world.’ She said quietly. He frowned at her for a moment, before a look of realisation spread across his face.

‘Ah, Graham told you?’ he questioned and she nodded ‘I’m sorry, I was going to tell you last night, but I didn’t think it was an appropriate time to say.’

‘No, you’re right, it probably wouldn’t have been. When will you be back?’

‘End of May.’ He said quietly avoiding her eye contact. She stared at the floor. _May? But that’s ages away…_

‘Mill, we’re going out with Graham for some drinks, are you coming?’ Aidan shouted from where he was standing, near the door. She shook her head.

‘No thanks, I might go home.’ She said and Richard looked sharply down at her.

‘Rich?’ Graham asked.

‘No. I don’t fancy it.’

‘Fine, but they need to close the shop now, so you’d better come out.’ Graham said. They both nodded in reply as their three friends waved goodbye and left.

‘So you want to go home?’ he asked, pulling on his coat and heading to the door. She shrugged

‘I don’t know.’ She said as she walked through the door he was holding open for her.

‘Then why don’t you come back to my hotel while you decide?’ she stopped.

‘Your hotel?’

‘Just for a drink…and a talk. I think I owe you that.’

‘Ok, but no alcohol, I don’t want to be compromised.’ She said, hooking her arm through his as they began to walk down the road.

‘I wouldn’t compromise you.’ He said, but she snorted.

‘I think I’d be in more danger of compromising myself. I suspect it wouldn’t take much to put me under the table.’

They walked in silence now, _awkward silence_. Emily got the impression he didn’t want to start talking until they got somewhere private. _Which I suppose is fair enough, he doesn’t know how I’m going to_ _react_. They reached the hotel and Richard led the way to his room, unlocking the door and turning on the light.

‘I’m afraid it’s nothing glamorous.’ He said as Emily looked round the room. He was right, it wasn’t glamorous; the room was magnolia with pine furniture. It was light, but bland, only one picture hung on the wall. A standard landscape. She tugged off her coat after seeing him do the same and draped it over the back of a chair.

‘Haven’t you unpacked?’ she said, noticing his suitcase, open and overflowing on the floor.

‘Errr I haven’t been here long so I thought it was a waste of time.’

‘Is this how you’re going to be living for the next few months?’

‘Quite probably.’ He said dully, turning on a little kettle that sat on top of a pine chest of drawers.

‘Graham said you needed persuading to do it.’ She said, he nodded and murmured in accent.

‘I think he’s wanted me to do this since the first book came out. He wants to show me the new possibilities in the world, probably hopes I’ll move to the US.’ She stared at him, trying to concentrate on what he had said rather than imagining Graham singing “A Whole New World” from Aladdin. She noticed that his shoulders were sagging and the sparkle in his eyes had gone. She sat down on his bed, _why does he still look so handsome?_

‘Do you really not want to go?’ she asked

‘I did, no, I do. I do want to go; I see the benefit of it.’ He said, staring at the kettle as it clicked off and pouring the steaming water into the cups that were previously stacked beside it.

‘But…?’

‘Are you really angry at me for going?’ he said, handing her the mug of tea.

‘No. I wish you weren’t, but I’m not angry.’ She said, taking a sip from the mug. _Argh this tea is so much better than the shitty plastic cup tea._ He sat down beside her, making the bed sink and causing Emily to have to balance herself with her free hand, which landed on his thigh. Before she could take it away he had placed his hand over it hand held it in place.

‘I should have told you last night.’ He said, his eyes flickering up at her, but she shook her head again.

‘There wasn’t a good moment.’

‘Is there ever a good moment? I wanted to tell you myself.’

‘Never mind, we can’t do anything about it now.’ She said, lifting the mug to take a long drink to empty it.

‘Here.’ He said, taking the mug from her and setting it down on the bedside table along with his own. ‘Erm…err, I…’ he started, looking flustered. ‘I, err, I mean, if, if you are still interested, or…single when I’m back, would you possibly want to carry on from where we left off?’

‘Where are we leaving off Richard?’ she said, edging closer to him, retrieving her hand from his leg and reaching up to touch his cheek. He let out a low growl and kissed her, putting both of his hands on the back of her head to hold her in place as he explored her mouth. She moaned and pulled him over so that she was lying on her back and he was leaning over her.

‘I thought you said you didn’t want to be compromised?’ he said, resting his forehead on hers.

‘So you _are_ planning on compromising me?’ she asked, trying to reach up and kiss him again, but he kept just out of reach and pinned her arms down on the bed.

‘The rate you’re going, I’m not going to have that much choice.’ He let her kiss him momentarily but lifted his head again and laughed ‘Does alcohol really make any difference to you in these situations?’

‘Yes, I like to remember it and not regret it afterwards.’ She tried to move to kiss him again but still couldn’t reach and let out a frustrated cry. ‘Richard! You don’t have to drive tonight, please!’ she said, wriggling under his grip. He sighed.

‘Emily, I cannot sleep with you tonight and then leave first thing tomorrow morning.’ He said. She stopped struggling and he loosened his grip on her arms.

‘You’re leaving tomorrow morning?’ he gulped and nodded. ‘That’s quick.’

‘I know. I know.’ He breathed.

‘I’m tired, I think, maybe, I should go home.’ She said, sitting up.

‘No, I’m sorry, please stay a bit longer.’ He said, brushing her hair back from her face. ‘Please?’


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading/kudosing (is that a word? Probably not) I really appreciate it. I think this is a slightly shorter chapter, I’m not overly happy with it, but I needed something to breach the gap in the story! So sorry in advance!

Emily didn’t go home that night. She didn’t even make it out of the hotel. She had spent a large portion of the night talking with Richard, covering far more subjects in far more detail than any other conversation they had had before. She lay on his bed as they talked, his voice was mesmerising and washed over her until she stopped listening to _what_ he was saying; content with the fact he was saying _something_. By midnight he had joined her lying on the bed; by two o’clock it was obvious that she was going to be staying the night and they started making themselves more comfortable.

 She sat on the edge of the bed, kicked off her heels and took off the belt on her jeans. She was just debating whether or not to remove her bra when she felt the bed sink again with his weight. She turned her body where she sat so she could look at him. He had taken off his shoes _and his socks_ , his cardigan and tie, and undone the top two buttons on his shirt. She had to cross her legs and take a couple of deep breaths to compose herself before doing anything else. She got up and pulled her black locks over her shoulder before slipping under the duvet.

‘Are you going to be on top of the covers all night?’ she asked, looking at him and having to cross her legs again. _Damn him and his stubble and messy hair._

‘Erm, well err no, I’m not…’ his said unconvincingly

‘It’s ok, I get it, no sex. But really, you’ll get cold….and it makes it difficult for me to move without disturbing you.’ He sighed and gave in, getting into bed next to her

‘Come here then.’ He grumbled, putting an arm round her. She cuddled up close to him, nuzzling her face into his neck through the opening in his collar.

‘You smell nice.’ She mumbled into his skin, making him laugh so softly that she felt it rather than heard it.

‘You smell of lemons.’

‘Hmmm lemon shower gel.’ She sighed ‘it reminds me of lemon meringue pie.’

‘You like lemon meringue pie?’

‘My mum used to make it before she became really ill.’ She said, bringing a hand up to absentmindedly play with the hairs peeking out from the collar of his shirt.

‘Do you miss her?’

‘Yeah. It was difficult, with her health, we…we knew she was going to go a long time before she did. The worry drove my family to the edge, it was almost better after she’d died because that panic wasn’t there anymore. But I’m the eldest, I remember her before that and she didn’t deserve the hand life dealt her.’

‘How’s your family now?’ he asked, now calmly stroking her hair. She snorted.

‘My family and I don’t see each other so much anymore. I fell out with my dad when I moved out so that a full time care nurse could move in to help mum, he now rents out my room so I can’t move back in. The next two sisters, Sophie and Katie are…horrendous. Sophie is the older one, she’s 19 and I swear she has slept with more guys than I’ve ever met. Katie is pretty much her mini me. It makes me feel sick.’

‘And your youngest sister?’

‘Mary is the only good one out of the bunch. I’m pretty sure she’ll get the farm. She loves animals and she’s smart. She lets me sleep on her bedroom floor when I go home.’

‘You still go home to a family you don’t like?’ he said, sounding surprised.

‘Only for a few days a year. I love being in the country, I miss it when I’m here.’

‘When you were complaining about the crowds in the café a couple of days ago, was it because you miss home?’ he said. She sat up on her side and rubbed her face with her hands. She was getting too warm and sleepy to be talking.

‘No, inside the house was rarely peaceful, but having the freedom of walking wherever I liked for miles and miles without seeing another person was amazing.’

‘I find it sad that you’ve been on your own so long you enjoy it.’ She frowned and poked him in the side with her finger.

‘Filthy hypocrite. Do _you_ mind it? Being alone?’ she asked settling her head back down next to his, so she could look directly into his eyes. He shrugged.

‘It’s good for writing most of the time. But not good for much else.’ He sighed ‘it would be nice to treat writing like a job. As it is, it takes over my life.’

‘Maybe this tour will be a good way of breaking out of your routine?’

‘Possibly. I’m sure it will be great, Graham has organised a lot, and I’ll barely have time to think. But it’s hardly a break is it?’ she shook her head.

‘Have you ever taken time off just for yourself?’ she asked, her hands returning to the exposed skin at his neck.

‘Not really.’

‘You should.’ She yawned, shuffling closer to him so that her body was flush against him ‘when you get back. You…time off, yeah?’ she said sleepily. The warmth and comfort making her drift off.

‘Ok.’ He said, his arms settling round her to hug her closer.

‘I’ll make sure’

‘I hope you do.’

‘Hmmm, night Richard.’

 

There was movement in the room when she stirred the next morning. She groaned as she felt there was no one in the bed with her and that the rusting noises were likely to be Richard. She reluctantly opened her eyes.

‘Good morning’ he said, noticing she was awake.

‘It’s a bit early isn’t it?’ she said, restraining herself from saying _and why are you not still in bed?_

‘It is.’ He sighed and sat down on the side of the mattress ‘Graham called me earlier to say he’s got a hangover and I’ll have to drive. This means going to try and sort out the hire car we were going to take so I’m insured to drive it.’ Hearing the resigned tone in his voice she sat up and leant her head against the headboard.

‘Ah’ she said, biting her lip ‘Aid and Dean, I thought going out wasn’t the best idea…’

‘Graham would not have needed much encouragement.’

‘I shouldn’t have let them…’

‘Don’t start blaming yourself. They’re all old enough to know what they’re doing.’ He said, she reached forwards and took his hand.

‘But it’s made life awkward for you.’ He shrugged and moved close to her.

‘It’s not really a…problem…are, are you not…wearing a bra?’ he said uncomfortably, his eyes flickering down from her face. She blushed slightly. She’d woken up in a state of discomfort at about four and untangled herself from his arms to take it off before returning to sleep.

‘It’s under wired and was digging in during the night.’ She said gingerly. He nodded and laughed softly.

‘So that’s what you were doing.’

‘Did I wake you up?’ she asked nervously.

‘Only a bit.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise for making yourself more comfortable.’ He frowned, his eyes searching her face. _He looks far too awake for this time in the morning._

‘Can’t you get back into bed?’ she asked hopefully.

‘I need to get ready to go. I’m afraid I’m going to have to drop you off home soon.’ Her heart sank, _is this all going to be over so soon?_ It must have shown on her face as he got up, grumbling slightly, pulled back the covers and got in. ‘Ten minutes. Ok?’

 

By eight o’clock she was unlocking the front door to the house and was stepping inside. She wandered into the living room and lay on the sofa, still wearing her coat and shoes, pondering the events of the last few days. Their goodbyes had been ungainly. He had written down all his various contact details for her and shyly explained what was best to contact him on; which was generally email when he was out of the UK. They had sat in the car outside her house for a while, both of them stumbling over their words. He had finally got out of the car and opened her door for her just like he had done before. He had kissed her, but didn’t walk her to the door. She hadn’t turned back to see him go. She didn’t want that to be the last thing she saw of him. She curled up into a ball and hugged her knees. _Why was this so difficult? I was coping alright without him before…_ she thought to herself. But as she delved deeper into her memories she realised that this wasn’t so true and she remembered the sleepless nights alone after the split with Aidan. _There were still nights like that, if I tell the truth._ She had disliked sleeping alone for a long time. She’d had to put up with it for too long before meeting Aidan, and just when she thought it was getting better she was looking at more months alone. _Which is like a lifetime of never ending sexual frustration._ She pummelled the cushion groaning.

‘What the actual fuck?’ a voice said from behind her. She flipped over to see Aidan and Dean staring at her from the back of the sofa.

‘Err hi guys.’ She said, sitting up and straightening out her clothes.

‘What are you doing?’ Aidan asked. She pulled a face.

‘I think my ovaries have exploded.’

‘Ah man, I knew you were going to get laid last night.’ Dean said smirking. She spluttered

‘Thank you very much, I did not actually. The aforementioned explosion is down to not getting any and being bloody pissed off about it.’ She said, suddenly feeling rather hot. So she stood up and pulled off her coat.

‘Graham thought he was going to just let you go home last night. He said Richard isn’t always the most forward. So we wondered what was happening when you weren’t here this morning.’ Aidan explained, following Dean to come round and sit on the sofa. She sighed and slumped down next to them, her coat falling to the floor.

‘Hmm I think he’s right, Richard isn’t very forward. I quite like that about him actually, well, most of the time.’ She paused and gave them a sideways look ‘So, what did you two do to Graham last night?’

‘Oh my God, Milly, the man is like a heavyweight drinker. He got challenged to a drinking competition by bucket foot Steve and totally won!’ Aidan said, sitting up and looking excited at the memory.

‘Graham won a drinking competition against bucket foot Steve?! Christ, no wonder he was hung over this morning.’

‘It was amazing.’ Dean said, resting his head back on the sofa.

‘I kind of wish I’d been there now.’ She said and stood up. ‘I’m going to make a bacon roll, anyone else want one?’


	6. Chapter 6

It was late April, the sun had started shining and the weather was warming up. The leaves were starting to come out on the trees and spring flowers were blossoming colourfully about the university. These subtle differences in season were normally enough to brighten Emily’s spirits after a cold winter, but this year they did nothing. Her work had slipped; she’d even had to ask for an extension on one essay, which did not go down well.

She had kept in touch with Richard quite regularly to begin with, they spoke on the phone a few times as well as email. But as time went on the emails became shorter and less frequent and the phone calls had stopped. Emily could think of very little to say to him, as very little had changed in her life. Apart from one thing, which happened after a decent time had elapsed after his last contact with her and she was not going to write to tell him about.

 She had arrived home late one evening, assuming that the house was empty as Aidan was having a late tutorial and Dean was on a date. She had made it halfway up the stairs when the noises that reached her ears told her that Dean had obviously not gone _out_ for a date, but brought her home. She dashed back down the stairs and opened the bottle of red wine she’d been given some time before. Pouring herself a hearty glass full she went into the living room and sat in silence, not wanting Dean to know she was at there, and made short work of the wine. Aidan arrived home as she drained the last of the glass saying that he’d gone to the pub after his tutorial and asked why the TV wasn’t on. She explained, slowly, as she felt the alcohol was beginning to affect her. Aidan laughed at her and went to fetch the rest of the bottle and another glass, which they finished off between them. The rest of her evening was given over to a fiery make out session with a similarly intoxicated Aidan before curling up on the sofa with him.

 It was the best night’s sleep she’d had since Richard had gone away, but the next morning’s hangover and awkwardness made her think that it was not worth it. But Aidan had understood her stammering about not meaning anything to happen and moved the conversation on so they were back to talking normally by the time Dean, and a tall auburn haired girl, appeared. They did not say goodbye and the girl slammed the front door behind her when she left. Emily and Aidan looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and Dean made a comment about however great she was between the sheets, her temper wasn’t really for him.

 

May arrived and was passing without Emily hearing a word from Richard. She had given up any hope on him by now; it plainly wasn’t going to happen. But the sinking feeling in her stomach whenever she thought of his absence had not gone away.

 By the end of the month lectures were winding down, but she had a couple left. She settled down in a chair waiting for her lecture to start and took her notebook as well as her poetry book out of her bag and started to modify a poem she had started the previous evening. She was staring down at her scribbly hand writing, trying to think of a better rhyming word for “September” than “tender” _I don’t like that word,_ when her lecturer walked in. She glanced up to see that a second man had followed her lecturer. A tall, dark haired, extremely familiar man. She stopped breathing for a moment and her face went bright red. _What’s he doing here?_

‘Good afternoon everyone. As you know we are covering the second part of the presentation that I sent you in the next hour, but we are also lucky enough to be joined by bestselling author Richard Armitage. He has taken some time after a long book tour to talk to you about getting your work published after the lecture.’ Professor Brians said, addressing the room at large. Emily’s flickered to Richard under her eyelashes. He wasn’t looking directly at her so she afforded herself a good look at him. His hair was longer than it had been, so that it curled at his nape and she could see that he hadn’t shaved in a while from where she sat. He looked tired and even a little thinner than she recollected. She frowned slightly, _what_ was _he doing here?_

She pushed her poetry book to the edge of the table and began preparing to take some notes. The lecture progressed quickly, Professor Brians was an animated speaker and she was trying her hardest to make the notes she needed; but this was hindered when Richard stood up and began to make his way through the tables, looking down at what people wrote. Her heart was beating so quickly she thought it was going to burst out of her chest when she felt him standing behind her. He didn’t stay for long and walked past, picking up her poetry book from the table as he went. Her eyes widened. Nobody had ever read one of the poems from that book. Some of them were very personal to her; she hadn’t written them for anyone read. But she didn’t want to make a scene and had to watch the man she fancied the pants off of sit down and start to thumb his way through the heartfelt feelings of some of her life’s more painful moments.

 She tried to concentrate on making her notes again, but found it more than difficult. Her eyes would flicker up to find him pouring over her book every few minutes, which made her notes disjointed. In the end she gave up and only pretended to write until Professor Brians finished the lecture and introduced Richard again. He stood up, still with her book gripped in his hand, and made a short speech made up of advice and some of his experiences before asking if there were any questions. Emily remained silent throughout; wishing she could disappear. _What had he read? What was he thinking? Why won’t he look at me?!_

Suddenly all the chairs around her were being pushed out as everyone began to leave. She saw Richard shake hands with Professor Brians as the lecturer was on his way to the door and he politely smiled at several students as they left. Emily sat where she was until the room was empty, save for her and Richard. She buried her face in her hands and waited, hearing footsteps getting closer.

‘Graham told me that you didn’t think that you’ve written anything worth publishing, is that true?’ she heard him say gently from somewhere above her. She nodded, putting her hands down on the table and looking up at him guiltily. ‘Why do you think that?’ he asked, pulling a chair out from the table in front and sitting down.

‘Because I _haven’t_ written anything worth publishing.’ She whispered as he set the book down in front of her.

‘Don’t put yourself down. _This_ is incredible.’ He said, pointing at the book.

‘ _This_ was never meant to be read by _anyone._ ’ She said, taking the book and shoving it into her bag, huffing as she did so. ‘Richard, what are you doing here?’

‘I came to see you.’ He said simply.

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I haven’t heard from you in over a month.’

‘I thought it would be a surprise?’ he said timidly, his eyebrows knitting.

‘Surprise? Of course it’s a fucking surprise.’ She hissed angrily, immediately regretting her tone. She let out an aggravated moan at herself and said in a softer voice. ‘This has to be a dream.’

‘I wish it was. Then I’d wake up and make some changes to this scenario before we got to this point.’ He said so dejectedly that a wave of guilt was ready to overwhelm her.

‘I didn’t mean…I have…I _am_ pleased to see you.’ She finally managed to say ‘I didn’t mean to sound like I wasn’t. I just cannot believe you’re here.’

‘That isn’t your only issue though, is it?’ he said, trying to read her face. She didn’t know whether it was a good idea to tell him, the whole situation made her want to burst into tears with frustration and joy at seeing him. But she didn’t feel that lying to him was a good idea.

‘Nobody has read what I wrote in that book.’ She said, jabbing at her bag ‘Only me. I don’t even think Aid and Dean have dared to look in it. And you just waltz in and start reading it. I barely even know you, the thought of you reading my words…’

‘What did you think would happen? I don’t look at you any differently; I don’t really understand where most of them come from. There’s certainly some suffering in it, but that’s a given with poetry…and with what you’ve told me about yourself.’ He said. He sounded like he was picking the words carefully and gauging her reaction as he went. She forgot how nice it was to talk to him. Dean and Aidan never really understood the intricacies of writing the way that Richard had. In the short amount of time she’d had to get to know him she’d felt different. _From the moment I saw him actually._ She had a natural nervousness of new people, especially men, but Richard had an air of safety that she couldn’t figure out.

‘Am I beyond forgiveness?’ he asked gently. She shook her head. She didn’t have to think about it. Her body’s reaction when he’d walked into the room had been enough, but his behaviour to her, as gentlemanly as ever, had confirmed that she shouldn’t let him be the one that got away.

‘Would you like to come home for a coffee?’  


	7. Chapter 7

‘Did you enjoy the tour?’ Emily asked as they walked back towards her house. All the thoughts that had been racing through her mind when he’d magically turned up had settled now and she was acclimatising to the prospect of potentially having him around. She felt a weight lift from her chest and she stood in a much more confident posture.

‘I did, mostly. I played a lot of ping pong with Graham.’ He said cheerfully. She smiled, _God, I wish I’d seen that._

‘How is Graham?’

‘Very good, I suspect we’ll see him soon. I left him at your house.’ He said yawning. She frowned at him. _I have definitely missed something here._

‘My house? Why?’ she asked.

‘Oh.’ He said sheepishly ‘I forgot to say. Graham has organised a sort of after tour party in London tomorrow night. Will…can…I mean, do you want to go?’ he inquired. She fought back a smile at how he stumbled over the question. The time away had certainly not changed that too much. ‘You can stay at my house, if you want to. You wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel.’ He continued. _As if I needed any more incentive to go._

‘I’d love to. I haven’t been for a night out in ages!’ she said enthusiastically. When she was a teenager, underage and considerably less worldly, _not that I'm all that worldly now_ , she’d loved going out. It was any excuse to go out and get totally shitfaced. After the split with her first boyfriend she’d stopped going out altogether and only started up again during her first year with the boys, as she felt safe with them. In her second year the novelty had worn off, the evenings were generally spent at home.

‘You would?’ he said, relief spreading across his face. She nodded. ‘Great. I don’t know what it’s going to be like, but we don’t need to stay long if you don’t want to.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine.’ She grinned, feeling butterflies erupt in her stomach. It felt like a fresh start, like she hadn’t met him before that day. Not that she had had a chance to get to know him well before he left, but the nerves rippling through her were not something she had experienced since he’d picked her up to take her to dinner.

 The walk to her house was fairly short, but in that time she’d decided that she liked his longer hair and the stubble, but he needed to put on a little weight round his face. Or maybe just get a good night’s sleep. She unlocked her door and stepped inside, Richard following closely, and strained her ears to find out where the boys were lurking with Graham. To her surprise only silence greeted them. She frowned, _why are men so bloody unpredictable?_

‘I’m willing to bet,’ She said thoughtfully ‘that they’ve gone to the pub.’

‘That wouldn’t surprise me.’ Richard said dully as his eyes scanned the house. She felt uncomfortable that it was in such a mess, but her recent disconsolate state had meant she hadn’t tidied in a while and Aidan and Dean were always pretty hit and miss when it came to cleaning.

‘I’m sorry about the state of the house.’ She said sheepishly, but, on entering the living room, she noticed he’d stopped and picked up a book that was sitting on a lamp table. It was one of his own books; she’d lent this one to Aidan but he’d not got too far with it. Seeing him with the book reminded her of something.

‘I never got a signed copy of your new book you know.’ She said smirking.

‘I’ll sign your whole collection if you like.’ He replied, still flicking through the pages.

‘Don’t joke. I’ll make you do it, just let me find a pen.’ She laughed, but his face didn’t change much.

‘I wasn’t joking.’

She stared back at him, narrowing her eyes to try and work out if he was leading her on. But his face remained serious. She sighed.

‘My books are in my room. Follow me.’ she said, not knowing whether to be excited that he was really following her to her room and sign her many books, or whether to prepare herself for the feeling of embarrassment as she remembered the enormous amount of underwear dotted about. _At least they’re clean._ But she really had to get back into the habit of putting her clothes away after she washed them.

 She led him up the final few steps and into her room. _Oh why did I stop tidying my fucking room?!_  Looking at it with fresh eyes she felt ashamed.

‘I’m really, really sorry about the…well…’ she said, nervously glancing from him to the chaos surrounding her. He didn’t seem bothered, but then he’d been living out of a suitcase for the past few months, maybe he didn’t feel he could complain. She pointed at her desk and the shelves piled high with books above it.

‘Pens on the desk, take it away cowboy.’ She said, quietly trying to push some of the mess under the bed with her foot. _Shameless._ To her surprise he gave a slight bow and started to pull books off the shelves and sign them. He had his back to her, giving her an incredible view of his behind. _Dammit those jeans are tight; I thought Aid had a nice arse._ She tilted her head to watch the subtle movements as he worked through the many hardbacks on her shelves and had to struggle with herself not to go and have a feel. She was staring too intently to notice when he’d finished all the books and had reached out for a framed photograph half hidden by papers.

‘How long have you been dying your hair for?’ he said, turning round and waving the picture at her. She blinked in an attempt to bring her concentration back to the present.

‘What? Sorry, what did you say?’ she said, making her way across the room and taking a look at the photo. _Oh, that one._ It was taken when she was fifteen of her, her mum and sisters.

‘I’m guessing they’re your family, you all look very alike. But you have black hair, everyone else has blonde hair, have you been dying it constantly since you were this age?’ he elaborated, pointing to all the separate faces.

‘No, it’s my natural hair colour.’ She said with a sigh. Richard raised his eyebrows ‘Don’t look at me like that, I know it’s weird, but it’s a strange genetic thing on my mum’s side. I have an uncle who’s the same. Not that that convinced my dad.’ She said through her teeth.

‘Doesn’t he think you’re his?’ Richard asked, setting the photo back on the desk and placing his arm gingerly on her back, as though he wasn’t sure if it was wanted. _Argh, why does he have to be so shy?_

‘He should _know,_ he’s had DNA tests done. And we do all look alike, other than the hair and the eye colour; we have the same faces, similar figure. I _am_ his; he just doesn’t like to think so. I suppose it makes him feel better about kicking me out.’ She sniffed and leant into him. Taking this as a green light he put his arm around her properly. _That’s much better, God, he smells amazing._

‘Has he ever been to visit you here?’ he asked softly, as though he thought she was more upset than she actually was. _I suppose there’s no harm in playing along with that? He needs some innocent encouragement._

‘Once, he came with Mary. She made him stop in when they came over this way for a cattle sale.’ She said, quietening her voice accordingly. ‘He wasn’t happy at all. I was with Aid at the time and all three of us were in the house. Mary loved meeting them, dad wasn’t impressed. “Well if he dumps you for someone smarter, just don’t touch the bloody Australian”’ she said putting on a voice. _A bad one, that sounded nothing like my dad._ He turned to face her and wrapped both arms around her in a comforting hug. _Great, now I’m crying again, this was only supposed to be pretend! Stupid emotions._

‘Dean got annoyed when I told him dad called him an Aussie.’ She said into his chest. ‘It was instant mutual dislike, mind, he never likes anyone I like. I think it must just be me.’

‘It’s him, not you. Don’t doubt yourself. You picked a bad guy once, so what? Given the male role model you had it’s not surprising. I don’t want you to think that you’re to blame.’

‘What if I am? What if it’s me all the time?’ she whispered, realising that she had slipped from being in control of the situation to tumbling into a whirlwind of repressive shame.

‘It’s not you. I’m telling you it’s not. Aidan and Dean will agree with me. It’s not your fault.’ He hushed, holding onto her more tightly. ‘I may not have known you very long in the grand scheme of things, but I know you’re a good person. A good person that has made some mistakes, we all make them. But that’s no excuse for some of the people in your life to treat you like shit. I won’t let that happen again.’ He said, stroking her hair and gently twisting it round his finger as she pulled back.

‘Are you saying you’re the good guy?’ she lamented hopefully, looking up at him and nearly melting at the sight. His eyes were dark, an intense look spreading from them across his face, she couldn’t look away. His body felt tense against her palms which were resting on his chest. She didn’t know what to make of it; he looked like a hunter sizing up his prey, ready to strike. But did a hunter look at his prey with _those_ kind of eyes? _Probably not._

‘I will never hurt you Emily.’ He said sincerely. That was all she needed to hear, she reached up to put her hands on the back of his neck. He needed little encouragement. Before she knew where she was wrapped up in his strong arms losing herself in what could only be described as a mind-blowing kiss. _God, this man is amazing._

 He guided her to the bed and they fell together in a heap right in the middle. She started giggling.

‘Classy.’ She said as he rolled her onto her back.

‘Didn’t you know I’m the model of elegance?’ he said, looking down at her with a smirk before resuming the explorations on her mouth, down her throat and….CRASH! They both jumped and sat up as voiced were heard shouting from downstairs.

‘Fucking hell Aidan, that was my project!’ Dean’s voice said.

‘Alright, alright, I haven’t broken it!’ Aidan retorted.

 Emily groaned and looked up at Richard who was flushed and staring fixedly at the door. They couldn’t hear what was being said now, but there was a rumble of voices coming from what Emily knew was the kitchen.

‘They’re probably putting the kettle on. Shall we?’ she asked, gesturing Richard to stand up. Which he did immediately, putting his hand out to help her up once he was standing.

‘Thank you.’ She said. He smiled shyly back at her and they made their way downstairs.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it has taken so long for an update! I’ve really struggled to think what to write for this chapter and might do some editing on it at some point. I’m also posting this when I’m tired so I apologise in advance for the many mistakes I dare say there are! Thanks for reading! x

‘Listen Graham, I know he wasn’t there this time, maybe he’s taken to drinking at a different pub now. But Bucket foot Steve was totally mortified that he lost, you should have seen his face!’ Dean’s voice was saying loudly as Emily and Richard made their way down the stairs as quietly as possible. Emily was trying to overhear what they were saying as she was sure that they didn’t know she was in the house. _Typically they have to be talking about Bucket foot Steve and not something interesting._

‘I probably did boys, but I can’t remember it. I’m glad he wasn’t there, I couldn’t do a rematch.’ Graham said fairly. _Well done Graham._

‘No way man, you were awesome! You beat a professional drinker in a _drinking competition_!’ Aidan said enthusiastically. Emily rolled her eyes at this comment and stepped into the kitchen saying

‘Aid, he is not a professional drinker, he’s an alcoholic.’

‘Hey Em. We didn’t know you were there.’ Dean said

‘Yeah, we haven’t been home long. You two remember Richard.’ She said as the three of them exchanged hellos and Aidan asked if Richard wanted a coffee; assuming that Emily would have tea if one was going. She smiled at Graham, who looked considerably less tired than Richard, and made her way towards him.

‘You forgave him then.’ Graham grinned, nodding to his friend.

‘He’s on probation.’ Emily joked, but Dean had overheard and piped up

‘God, if she’s forgiven you you’re lucky mate. She doesn’t hand out second chances very often.’

Emily scowled but before she could argue her side Aidan had caught on and had followed Dean’s lead.

‘Yeah, we’ve had to suffer the silent treatment before, I don’t know how she can go so long without talking to anyone.’ He said, but before he could continue Emily crossed her arms and stepped forward.

‘Woah, hang on guys, what about the time you ordered a pizza with extra hot chillies and told me that they were just sweet peppers and I nearly died because my mouth was on fire? Or the time you locked me out of the house in the rain until I sang every song from Mary Poppins? How about all the times that I’ve nearly _vommed_ seeing some of the horrible shit you two watch on TV while you’re eating and hiding the remote down your pants. And I’m not talking about the American based use of the word “pants” either. I mean _underpants_ or even _speedos_ that one time. Where you got those is still beyond me and why you had to use the TV remote to pack them out I have no idea Dean. I thought there was something seriously wrong down there because there were more pointy bits than was normal. Not that I was staring, I wasn’t! This impression was all made in a mere glance before I turned away because _speedos_ are not a good look for _anyone_ whether they have decided to put a square piece of plastic around their gentleman areas or not! So before we start saying that I don’t forgive things very easily let’s remember all of those traumatic events you have put me through and the fact that I am still friends with you!’ She said, glaring at all the faces staring blankly back at her.

‘I forgot about the speedos.’ Dean said thoughtfully into the silence.

‘What happened to them?’ Aidan asked

‘I burned them; I couldn’t have them making a comeback.’ Emily said, leaning back against the work surface. ‘It was bad enough to have to experience them once.’

‘You can be such a drama queen. There was nothing wrong with them.’ Dean said ‘You should have seen them Graham, they were a lovely shade of light blue.’

‘Yeah, brought out the colour of your eyes didn’t they.’ Emily said sarcastically, hoping that Dean was taking the piss. _He’d better be taking the piss…_

‘Alright, I won’t buy another pair.’ Dean laughed and began to get mugs from the cupboard, the kettle having boiled long ago.

‘Thank God, I want that in writing.’ Emily muttered.

‘So I’m guessing you will be coming with us tomorrow night to London, Milly?’ Aidan asked and she nodded ‘It’s going to be so fucking cool. Graham says there’s going to be an open bar!’

‘Guys, please don’t drink too much just because you don’t have to pay for it. We don’t want a repeat of Kerrie Dobson’s birthday. Between the three of us, I don’t think I had ever seen as much puke in my life. The house stank.’ She groaned. That night had been terrible _and very smelly_.

‘What do you take us for?’ Dean asked in mock offense.

‘Morons, obviously.’ Emily replied as Dean pretended to spit into her mug.

‘Are you lot always like this?’ Graham, who had been following the conversation with mounting amusement, asked.

‘Not _always_. But back to the previous discussion, are you heading to London tonight? Shall we meet you there?’ Emily questioned as she grabbed her mug of tea before anyone could actually gob in it.

‘We’re staying in Oxford tonight and driving down tomorrow afternoon.’ Richard said, breaking his silence. Emily had understood for a long time that Richard was the type to allow others to lead a conversation when he was unsure of them. Given that he was prone to shyness she often wondered how he’d managed to ask her on a date in the first place. _Must be a dark horse…_

‘Let me guess, you’re in the same place as last time?’ she asked, and when Richard nodded she tsked and said ‘men can be such predictable creatures.’

‘You’re not staying there again, are you? It’s a shit heap, Graham, we told you!’ Dean exclaimed and Graham shifted his feet in embarrassment.

‘Graham likes the breakfasts they do there.’ Richard said knowingly.

‘Why don’t you stay here? Emily makes a really good breakfast!’ Dean said. Emily frowned at him.

‘That’s right; turn me into the fucking _slave._ And where are they going to sleep?’

‘Well, Graham can sleep on the sofa and Richard can sleep with you.’ Dean said cheerfully, not noticing Aidan’s scowl or Emily’s look of surprise. Not that _she_ should really have any reason to dispel the notion, they had spent a night sharing a bed before. _But not my bed._ It seemed so much more personal.

‘I’m fine with that if you are?’ Graham said, looking at Richard, who in turn looked to Emily.

‘You’ll need to get all your things and check out. We’ll order in tonight, we don’t have enough in the fridge to cover food for tonight and tomorrow morning.’ She said, trying to make her voice sound normal and unconcerned when she was struggling to know how to feel.

‘That’s excellent. We will see you all in about an hour then.’ Graham said, clapping his hands together as they collectively made their way towards the door, leaving their drinks only half empty. Richard mouthed “I’m sorry” to her as Graham ushered him out and the door closed. In the hallway the three of them stood in silence for a moment and something dawned on Emily. _Well shit, I’m going to need to tidy my room._ She turned to leave the other two and headed towards the stairs when Aidan caught up with her.

‘Can I have a word?’ he said and put a hand on the small of her and guided her towards the stairs and out of Dean’s earshot. Once they were safely on her landing she looked at him, his features looked tightened and anxious as he reached for her hand. She let him take it without a fuss and continued to look into his face.

‘Are you ok Aid?’ she asked softly. She watched him take a deep breath.

‘Milly, I knew this was bound to happen, but I really didn’t think it would be like this.’ He said quickly, swaying slightly where he stood. She could sense that he was conflicted over whether to stay where he was or put his arms round her. She took her hand from his, trying to make it plain where she stood. He looked taken aback, but recovered himself enough to say

‘I’m sorry. I really did not think Dean would suggest that, I…I don’t know what to think. I still love yo…’

‘No, no Aid, please no. Do not tell me you love me, I cannot say it back. You mean so much to me, but we can’t go back to the whole love thing. It didn’t work out before, it won’t work out now.’ She said sadly

‘I know that, I promise you I do. And I like Richard. He doesn’t seem like a dick that’ll treat you badly. But the thought of you and him, together, in this house, in the bed we shared…’

‘I’m not going to have sex with him tonight.’ She hissed, turning bright red at the thought.

‘How do you know that?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow. She knew what he meant. On the one hand when they were together you could never tell when one thing would lead to another, on the other hand, it used to happen so often it was predictable. _God, we were like rabbits. But without the producing tons of babies thing. Thank Jesus, Mary and Joseph for contraception._

‘Because this house will be full of you, Dean and Graham. It’s not going to happen, I promise.’ She said sincerely, reaching out and grabbing both of his hands in hers.

‘I don’t want to be like your chastity belt. I know you have to move on…’

‘I know what you mean. We both have to move on. I know I’d be in pieces if you brought a girl home for the night. Nothing will happen in this house, especially not with you in it.’

He nodded, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly as he leaned forward and lightly kissed her forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

Emily had never considered herself a tidy person, but as she scooped up several piles of clean washing that she had dumped on the floor she suddenly wished that she was. She had been stomping round her room in a gloomy silence as she mulled over the past couple of hours and started to think on what was going to happen in the future. She had become increasingly irate at being thrust into a situation where she had to spend a night in the same bed as someone she wasn’t one hundred percent convinced she was ready to forgive. She’d repeatedly imagined herself saying ‘well why don’t you and Aidan share a bed and Richard could have the spare one’ when Dean had said about Richard sleeping with her; but as was so common in these situations she could only look back in hindsight. _Damn me and my slow reactions_.

She stopped herself short in this mental tirade. She knew that Richard had never meant for her to feel the way she did. He’d been very accepting of her past, when sometimes she felt she had not got to that stage herself, and had made her feel safe and comfortable. She had been well on her way to putting the last couple of months behind her, but this new development was giving her an unsettling feeling. She tried to push the feeling aside. _You know what this is about, Richard is not like Jack, nothing bad will happen._ She reminded herself, but the strange relationship she’d had with her ex always seemed to worm its way back into her life. She felt like she’d be stuck with the repercussions of it forever.

As she began to strip the sheets off of the bed she heard the front door open and close. She stood up straight and listened, but only silence greeted her. She frowned to herself and rolled her eyes as she realised that there probably wasn’t enough alcohol left in the house and either one, or both of the boys had gone to get some more. She sighed loudly to herself as she resumed yanking her bed apart. _There is no way in hell I am drinking tonight, no sir. I will do something very stupid, not remember it, look like a total moron and have a massive hangover to top it off. Not fun and not happening!_

Once she had finally managed to get the new sheets on and vacuumed the floor with her beloved Henry hoover, she made her way back downstairs. She had just reached Aidan’s bedroom when she heard the front door bounce open and several male voices talking and laughing. Her heart jumped in her chest as she continued down, finding all four men in the hall attempting to work out where to put all the luggage and alcohol.

‘Aid, Dean, beer can go straight into the kitchen! How much did you buy?’ Emily said, staring in disbelief at the boxes they were both carrying. Dean shrugged awkwardly, trying not to drop his boxes.

‘They were on offer.’ He said, giving Aidan a knowing look.

‘Ookaay, I won’t ask. You two might be better putting your stuff on the landing upstairs for the moment. I see carnage ensuing down here.’ she said to Graham and Richard, pointing up the stairs and beginning to walk up them again. After they had set their belongings safely down somewhere where drunk fools might fall over them later, Emily turned to lead them back down to the living room.

‘Emily, can I have a word?’ Richard said from somewhere behind her. She turned round to find Graham nearly colliding into her back and ducked out the way.

‘We’ll see you in a minute Graham.’ She said smiling as Graham winked at her and made his own way down, chuckling lightly. Once Graham was out of earshot Richard stepped forwards, the slightly concerned look he had been wearing on his face since arriving had turned into a look of distress.

‘I’m really sorry about this, if you’re not happy I don’t mind sleeping on the floor downstairs or even going and finding another hotel.’ He said hastily, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

‘Richard, I may have looked taken aback when Dean suggested it, but really, I’m absolutely fine with you staying with me. I just didn’t think Dean would be the one to say it.’ She said, stepping forward and sliding her hands into his pockets alongside his and gripped his fingers. ‘But you can sleep on the floor if you want to.’ She said with a smirk. He sighed and leant his forehead on the top of her head.

‘I have certainly slept in worse places, but I _would_ prefer a bed.’

‘What worse places?’ she asked, pulling her head away to look up at his face, but she kept her hands firmly in his pockets.

‘Err, on a bench next to my car because I lost my keys and my phone…and my wallet. I had to wait until the morning to find some help.’ He said, tilting his head to the side as he looked down at her. ‘Is that tame?’

‘Were you drunk?’

‘No.’

‘Ok then for a sober person, it sucks. If you were drunk it would be fairly tame. When you’re drunk you don’t care where you sleep. Or I never did, it’s on the long list of reasons why I shouldn’t be allowed alcohol.’

‘Do I want to ask?’ he questioned curiously, his eyebrows lifting. She rolled her eyes.

‘My dad never let me have a key to the house when I went out and he’d then locked the doors. So I used to sleep in a wheelbarrow outside the backdoor. On cold nights I’d wheel it into the barn with the cows. I got used to the smell.’ She said thoughtfully. He stared back at her

‘Are you joking?’ he asked

‘No? That’s not the worst place though. The skip was pretty bad, very, very smelly. My ex’s cellar was the worst though. I woke up in the pitch black not knowing where I was, it was terrifying.’ She said, now leaning into his chest.

‘How on Earth are you normal?’ he breathed.

‘I never said I was normal. I think this evening may prove that I am not. You know, in this house, it’s a tradition to play Twister when we have guests. It gets intense. But I suspect...’ She said stepping back and looking him up and down as though she was seeing him for the first time ‘I suspect given the length of your limbs that you’ll be pretty good at it.’

‘I will take that as a compliment.’ He said, watching her eyes as they lingered on his thighs for a little too long.

‘Err, right.’ She said distractedly, looking around her to get her bearings again. _Because, my God, he does have marvellous legs._ ‘Shall we go?’

‘I’m right behind you.’

 

They descended the stairs in silence and headed towards the noise coming from the living room. Emily found it unsurprising that Twister was already set up on the floor where the coffee table normally stood and looked back up at Richard.

‘Oh, you weren’t joking about the Twister thing then?’ he said sheepishly.

‘Nope, we even have a scoreboard.’

‘Whose idea was it?’

‘You know, I have no idea. I’m not one hundred percent sure any of us like the actual game, but the tournament thing just started to happen.’ She shrugged.

‘Wait, what do you mean by “tournament”?’ Richard said at the same moment as Dean noticed them

‘Ah you’re back! Are you ready for the Twister tournament?’ he said cheerfully rubbing his hands together.

‘Tournament?’ Richard repeated again. ‘You do take this seriously?’

‘Yeah, we play against each other in heats to the death.’ Dean said.

‘Death?’ Richard asked sceptically.

‘Well it felt like that the first time.’ Aidan piped up, hearing the conversation from where he was standing a few feet away ‘Emily kicked me in the balls.’ That made them all laugh.

‘Shut up Aid, it wasn’t that bad!’ Emily said defensively, still laughing at the memory of Aidan curled up on the floor refusing to move.

‘It was worse than childbirth!’

‘And you know all about that don’t you?’ Emily said

‘Damn right, I know all about science. Childbirth is nothing compared to a kick in the balls. It’s a medical fact.’

‘Ok Aid, if you don’t shut up now I’m going to kick you so hard your future wife will never have to worry about the pain of childbirth because you won’t have working man parts. Do you understand?’ she said waggling a finger at him.

‘You bitch.’ Aidan said, laughing and dropped the conversation with no further argument. ‘Are we going to flip a coin to decide the heats? Or play rock paper scissors?’

‘Just pull some names out of a hat. It all gets very confusing otherwise.’ Dean said, finding an old notepad and writing down the names, tearing them off and folding them untidily.

Emily went out to the kitchen to make a cup of tea; all the beer had been taken into the living room as the kitchen was apparently too far to walk, and bustled around quickly while the kettle boiled. When she returned she found all four of her companions, beer bottles in hand, gathered around a box next to the TV.

‘Holy Hell no, we are not doing karaoke!’ she said as she noticed the microphones lying on the floor. All four of them looked at her, two with frowns, two with smirks.

‘Why not?’ Richard asked.

‘Emily only ever sings one song.’ Aidan said, taking a gulp of beer.

‘What song?’ Graham asked, sitting down on the sofa and yanking Richard down to sit next to him.

‘Busted, Crashed the Wedding.’ Emily mumbled.

‘What? Of all the songs in the world why do you only sing that one?!’ Graham said incredulously.

‘Look, ok, I can’t sing, I’m not going to lie about that. When these two finally bullied me into doing karaoke I sung that song and I didn’t think it sounded that bad. So I’m sticking with what I know didn’t make people’s visibly burn. Happy?’ she huffed, nearly spilling her tea as her arms gestured.

‘No, you can sing something else tonight.’ Emily’s eyes narrowed in on Richard, _hereby known as the traitor,_ and glared. He quirked an eyebrow and lifted his bottle to his lips.

‘I will not! I’m not singing anything at all thank you very much!’

‘Oh come on Milly, Dean and I sound like we’re strangling cats, you’re no worse than us!’ Aidan said

‘Yeah, but you’ll be drunk by that point. You won’t care!’

‘Then drink something!’ Aidan exclaimed, waving his arms in the air, which was met with nods from Graham and Dean, _who always forgets exactly why I don’t drink, the dumbass._ Richard was giving her an intense stare that nobody other than she had recognised.

‘I’ll stick to tea for now thanks.’ She said, calming down and walking over to sit next to Richard. ‘Have you decided the heats yet?’

 

The rest of the evening was spent enjoyably enough to Emily’s mind. They did the first few rounds of Twister before the pizza arrived. Aidan beat Graham and Emily beat Dean, who was disqualified for falling on top of her. They had a break for some pizza and karaoke, in which Emily was bullied to sing Livin’ on a Prayer, _which could have gone much worse,_ and Richard proved that he was by far the best singer in the room.

Emily had sat in stunned silence with her mouth open as he sang Born in the USA and stared at him until the song was over and he sat next to her again. He gave her a quizzical look and said

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re voice is like chocolate. Can I have it?’ she said. He just chucked and turned his attention to Dean slaughtering Hit Me Baby One More Time.

Aidan and Richard then battled it out in the next round of Twister, Richard won, the length of his legs giving him a good advantage. So the final was between Richard and Emily. She felt quite apprehensive about it, Twister being well known for putting its players into compromising positions, she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing with Aidan being there. As it turned out, after a few spins the position became too painful for Emily to think about anything other than not hurting herself.

‘Fuck it, Richard wins, I can’t do it!’ she shouted, trying to reach a hand back between her legs to touch a blue circle but coming a few inches short.

‘Don’t give up Em, you’re doing fine.’ Dean encouraged

‘Piss off Dean, I’m not flexible enough for this!’ she snarled.

‘Are you nearly there yet? This position isn’t very easy to keep.’ Richard said, balancing on one leg and his arms stretched out and far apart over her.

‘Ok, one minute.’ She said and tried one last time. That’s where it all went wrong, one of her feet slipped as she reached and her head flew upwards straight into Richard’s stomach. He swore and crumpled so that Emily ended up crushed again. _At least it was my own fault this time._

‘Shit, Richard, are you ok?’ Emily said, pushing him onto his side to free herself and look at him. He nodded and pointed at her.

‘Why is she allowed to play this game?’ he asked breathily, pushing up to his feet gingerly. Graham was still laughing.

‘She’s not usually dangerous.’ Dean shrugged ‘But looks like you won, sorry there’s no prize, but you go on the results table with good points.’

Emily was still sat on the floor as Dean went into detail over the scoring system with Graham and added the new points. She yawned widely and glanced over at the only clock in the room.

‘How did it get to be one in the morning?’ she asked to no one in particular.

‘Tired?’ Richard’s voice asked from somewhere above her. She looked up to find him smiling down at her.

‘Yeah, a little.’ She said. Richard offered her a hand to help her up and she took it.

‘Ow, my bum hurts.’ She said, reaching round to rub where she had fallen earlier. Richard ducked his head to her ear and whispered

‘Do you want me to kiss it better for you?’

She gasped and swatted him with the back of her hand.

‘Naughty!’ she chided ‘I’ll think about it.’ She muttered before turning to the group at large ‘Guys, we have stuff to do tomorrow, we should probably call it a night.’

‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ Aidan said stretching. ‘We’ll go get you some pillows and blankets and things, Graham.’

‘If you’re ok with that lads, I’m going to head up.’ Emily said pointing to the stairs. There were various noises of accent and goodnights before she spun round to locate Richard ‘You coming?’

He looked slightly taken aback but recovered, nodded and followed her. Once they were on Aidan and Dean’s landing she pointed to the suitcases and said

‘You should take them with you to my room, you might need some stuff.’

He agreed and dug out what was his to move. Emily didn’t wait for him but slowly started wandering up the stairs to her room. She was digging out a pair of leggings and a comfy t shirt to wear to bed when Richard appeared in the doorway.

‘If you put those under the windows and get what you need. I’ll be five in the bathroom and I’ll knock to let you know when I want to come out if you want to get changed.’ She said heading over to the en suite.

‘Ok, don’t feel you need to hurry for me.’ he said softly. She faced him and met his eyes, he looked a bit lost and uneasy. She smiled warmly

‘Thank you. I won’t be long though.’ She said and pushed into the bathroom.

 

When she came back out, after knocking, she found Richard sitting on the bed still wearing his day clothes, toothbrush in hand.

‘Why aren’t you changed?’ she asked, surprised.

‘I, uh, don’t have anything to sleep in.’ he said awkwardly

‘You could have said earlier if you needed anything washing, it might be done by now.’ She said as she threw her old clothes into a washing basket.

‘Err that’s, um, not what I meant.’ He said, his cheeks reddening ‘I, ah, I, err, don’t usually wear anything to bed.’

‘Oh.’ She said, suddenly understanding. ‘Oh ok, fair enough…err.’

‘I wasn’t going to tonight!’ he said quickly ‘That’s why I’m still, well, that’s why I’m not…’

‘That’s why you’re not naked?’ she interjected.

‘Yes.’

‘Ok, but you should take off the jeans.’ She said, sitting on the other side of the bed and running her fingers through her hair.

‘What?’ He said sounding shocked. She turned round to face him and gave him an exasperated look. ‘You just want me naked don’t you?’ he said, suddenly regaining some unexpected humour. She smiled again.

‘It’s like you can read my mind.’

 

She was sitting in the bed when he came back into the room from the bathroom; she had been listening to Aidan and Dean giggling on the way to their respective rooms. The main light had been turned off and the lamp on her bedside table was the only thing lighting the room. He stopped and she frowned at him

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked when he didn’t move. All her nerves had gone by now, she was ready to sleep, nothing else mattered. But he still looked quite unsure and didn’t reply. Although she had noted that he’d followed her advice and removed his jeans.

‘Look, Richard, if you’re not happy or worried about anything then we’ll put pillows down the middle of the bed. I don’t care, I’m tired, today has been long. I just want to go to sleep, and yeah ok, I would prefer to go to sleep cuddling you but I don’t want to argue about this.’ She said rubbing her eyes. He suddenly seemed to break out of his trance and walked over to the bed and knelt on it.

‘I wasn’t having second thoughts. And I don’t want to argue either, but this doesn’t feel the same as when we were in the hotel room.’ He murmured.

‘Get in.’ she said, pulling back the duvet so he could get under it and leaning over to switch off the light. Once he was settled down in the dark she moved towards him and put a hand to his cheek. ‘This is a different circumstance. It’s not really normal, is it?’

‘No.’ he said, a smile touching his lips.

‘We’re not asking anything of each other tonight, it’s just a bed and we’re just going to sleep.’ She whispered, closing her eyes.

‘I have one thing to ask.’ He said softly.

‘Hmmmm?’

‘Can I kiss you goodnight?’

She opened her eyes at his words, looking straight into the intensity of his eyes and nodded. He lifted a hand and placed it on the back of her head, as though he were afraid she’d move away, and leant in to slant his lips over hers. She kissed him back, opening her mouth to his gentle request. They moved closer to each other and Emily entwined her legs through his; lost as the kiss deepened, she whined and her toes curled. When they finally broke apart her palms were flat on his chest and his arms were wrapped around her. She could feel his heart beating through his t shirt and wished that she was too tired to fully enjoy the situation. _Maybe tomorrow…_

‘Goodnight Emily.’ Richard said into her hair as he pulled her closer to him, her eyes now closed again.

‘Night Richard.’


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very very sorry in advance for all the mistakes and bad writing in this chapter, I will probably get around to edit this at some point, but I don't think I will have access to the internet for a week and wanted to post something before it went down! 
> 
> It's shorter than I would have liked too, but I have run out of time!

_Hmm the bed feels warmer than usual,_ she thought as she started to come out of deep sleep full of strange dreams. She began to stretch and stopped suddenly, her eyes flying open. _Oh God, of course! That’s why!_ She found herself looking at a wall of chest and realised she was curled up next to Richard, his arms loosely around her. She lay with her eyes open for a while, pondering what to do.But the more she stared the more she wished that he wasn’t clothed. And she wasn’t either. _Typical, I had to wake up turned on, didn’t I?_ She tried to smother the feeling, she knew she’d regret it if they went further than she intended, _but damn it had been a while._

She decided that she would find out the time and plan the rest of the day to try to distract herself from thoughts of attempting to seduce Richard, so she slowly rolled over so she could see the clock on her bedside table. His arms were loose enough around her so that she was facing the other direction without disturbing him. _5:23, too early to wake up._ She sighed and pressed herself back to his chest.

‘I thought I felt you move.’ He said as she closed her eyes. She groaned, annoyed at waking him. It was still early, they shouldn’t be awake, she mentally slapped herself for moving.

‘Sorry, I wanted to find out the time.’ She said softly, not wanted to wake the rest of the house.

‘What is the time?’ he asked sleepily, not raising his voice either.

‘Nearly five thirty.’ She replied.

‘Hmm we haven’t been asleep for that long then.’

‘No, arh, today is going to be so long. I’d rather stay in bed.’ She said, frustratingly burying her head into the pillow.  

‘You don’t have to go anywhere; don’t feel like you ha…’ He started, but upon hearing the concerned voice had returned she cut him short.

‘No, no, no, I want to see this party Graham has organised. And I quite like this.’ She said, trying to press even closer to him and clutching at his arms. He responded by wrapping his arms tighter.

‘You have no idea how nice it is sharing a room with someone who smells nice.’ He sighed, nuzzling into her neck and she resisted the reaction to squirm at the ticklish feeling.

‘How am I supposed to interpret that?’ she asked sniggering and turning her head to watch his attentions to her neck.

‘I’ve been sharing a room with Graham for months. And I like Graham a lot but really, well… he doesn’t smell of lemons.’ He mumbled into her skin.

‘You should have just bought him some lemon shower gel.’ She said lightly. He paused and seemed to consider it for a moment.

‘Not the same.’ He said. She laughed again

‘It took you far too long to come to that conclusion.’ She said, turning over and poking him in the side. He jumped and looked back at her with puppy eyes. _I mean really, puppy eyes? How old is this man?_

‘What do you expect? It’s too early to think.’ He said through gritted teeth. She thought that was a bit odd, but the next moment she was being grabbed by the waist as his hands worked at her sides tickling her. She let out a squeak of surprise

‘No, Richard!’ she hissed, trying, and failing, not to laugh. ‘You’ll wake everyone up!’

‘What do you mean _I’ll_ wake everyone up? You’re the one making all the noise!’ he teased as he carried on, pushing her onto her back and leaning over her, his body falling between her legs.

‘You’re making me do it, you shit!’ she whisper shouted, trying to push him away. He didn’t budge from his position but stopped the assault on her middle. She caught his gaze and held it. _Oh shit, I could not be more turned on right now._ He seemed to have realised their position at a similar time that she did. His stare was intense and heated; his eyes darker than she had yet seen them. She had to take a deep breath and attempt to make her body still so that she didn’t start rhythmically rubbing herself against him. He looked like he was holding himself together with equal difficulty. His arms were tensed; in fact his whole body was rock hard. _Oh God, I did not need to think about what’s hard._ But now her mind had slipped that way she found it difficult to stop wondering. A familiar need filled sensation was gathering in her stomach and slowly beginning to drive her insane. They had lain like that, in silence, for long enough.

‘Rich, bad idea. We said we wouldn’t, and…can…can you move?’ she asked, her voice coming out huskily through her ragged breaths.

‘I don’t…give me a minute, I just…need…’

‘Shall I try and get out?’ she said, rising to her elbows but he let out a guttural moan and shook his head violently.

‘No. No, stay where you are.’ He said roughly, but showed no signs of moving a muscle. It seemed to be taking all of his effort to stay still. This was getting too much for Emily. She didn’t like fighting against her body for something that it craved and she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer. So, with that in mind she decided on a move that would either make or break the situation. She took a deep breath and reached her hands up to lay her palms on either side of his face. She sat up and connected her lips with his.

Shocked briefly, he didn’t respond, but it was only a few seconds before he was kissing her passionately back and all the tenseness had left him. She used this opportunity to push him over onto his back, rolling with him so she momentarily straddled him, but she continued to roll until she fell off the bed. She lay on her back breathing heavily, an arm over her eyes, hoping to God that the loud thump of her landing on the floor hadn’t woken anyone.

‘Are you ok?’ the gentle, breathless voice of Richard said from somewhere above her.

‘Yeah.’ She whispered.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t intend any of that.’ He said. She raised her arm and found him leaning over the side of the bed cautiously, watching her with a very guilty expression. She let out a small laugh.

‘I know you didn’t. Honestly I was so close to giving in I cannot explain.’ She said, pushing up onto her feet and walking round to the other side of the bed.

‘I thought you had given in for a couple of seconds. Until you fell on the floor.’ He said as she got in.

‘Don’t diss my plan! It worked!’ she said, waggling her finger at him and trying to move closer to him. She was surprised when he moved further away from her and gave him a confused look.

‘I really don’t think I’m…err ready to get too close to you right now. I need a few minutes to calm down.’ she slumped down on her back and stared up at the ceiling.

‘Would you like me to finish you off?’ she asked. The situation had stopped being serious for her and had turned vaguely amusing. She had to bite her lips to stop the smile as he groaned again

‘Oh God, Emily, if you’re going to say things like that please stop talking.’ He said. She decided to remain silent, listened to his steady, deep breaths and reflected. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she turned her head to him. He had his eyes closed and appeared to be trying to concentrate on being somewhere other than in the room.

‘Richard?’ she asked

‘Yeah?’ he said uneasily.

‘I’ve been thinking about something.’

‘Hmm.’

‘When you were sharing a room with Graham, did you still sleep naked?’ she asked, unable to keep in a smile now. He raised his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes.

‘You are very bad. I am not going to answer that question.’ He said in mock detachment.

‘Meanie.’ She said playfully. He looked at her now, sighed, and looked away again quickly.

‘I think you need to stay over on that side of the bed or I won’t be responsible for my actions.’ He said

‘Probably a good idea.’ She said, feeling a little disappointed but she was fully aware that, while her body was definitely game for a roll in the hay, she didn’t have an obvious out of control body part to have to deal with.

‘I’m sorry. I feel a bit useless.’ He said, sounding dejected.

‘It’s probably better to feel like that. Imagine how you would feel if you couldn’t get it up when you want to. At least this way you still get your man points.’

‘Man points?’

‘Yeah, you know, ego boost and that. All your bits are working.’ She explained.

‘Thank you for the clarification on how a man’s mind works.’

‘It’s a pleasure. Shall we try and get some more sleep?’

He hummed in accent and she settled back down, not feeling particularly tired at that moment. But apparently he was, as it wasn’t long before his breathing was slow and even. She turned onto her side and watched him for a while, making sure he was deeply enough asleep for him to not notice her slide over to him and snuggled into his side. He didn’t wake up and she relaxed. _Well, that was an interesting interlude._ Interesting indeed. The thought of him trying to make sure he didn’t compromise or force her into something she didn’t want to do was comforting. He had respected her choice despite what his body was telling him to do.

She fell asleep thinking about all of that and as she drifted off she felt that she’d be very lucky not to have a raunchy sex dream about what she really wished had happened when she was lying under him.

_Argh, I’ve got it bad._


	11. Chapter 11

_Emily rolled over in bed and snuggled up to the warm body lying beside her. She felt an arm pull her closer and soft lips pressing against her forehead. She sighed, feeling content, albeit still slightly drunk from the night before. She wasn’t too sure how she’s managed to get home, her mind was blank after about midnight, but she was safely in bed with Aidan. She slowly peeled her aching eyelids open and froze._

_This wasn’t her room. This wasn’t Aidan’s room either._

_It was Dean’s._

_She’d split up with Aidan. There was no logical reason why she should have thought she’d be in bed with him. That had stopped weeks ago. She tilted her head to look at the face of the man she was sprawled over._

Oh, and its Dean.

_She felt sick, guilt and a feeling of curiosity flood her._

_‘Dean.’ She hissed, sitting up, only at that point did she realize that she was completely naked. A quick peep under the covers showed her that Dean was equally unclothed. When he didn’t respond to her voice she put her hands on his chest and tried to shake him, hissing louder ‘Dean, you moron wake up!’_

_He stirred and opened one eye._

_‘Oh, hi Em.’ He said casually ‘What’s the time? I think I need some more sleep…how much did we drink last night?’_

_‘Dean, wake up properly! This is important! Did we have sex last night?’_

_He opened his eyes fully now and looked up at her, surveying the quantity of bare skin visible on her shoulders before his eyes ducked down lower to where she hadn’t bothered to cover up her breasts. She flinched and pulled the duvet to cover her as she noticed the direction of his gaze. He looked away from her and down at himself._

_‘I think we might have.’ He said screwing up his face. She realized that it wasn’t just her that still had alcohol running through them._

_‘You mean you can’t remember either?’ she asked him frantically. When he shook his head she groaned._

_‘Don’t worry; it’s not a big deal. You’re on the pill aren’t you?’ he said calmly. She nodded._

_‘Yes, but that’s not the point! We’re friends; this is not a_ friends _thing to do!’_

_‘Em, clam down a bit. Lie down again and relax.’ He said soothingly. She did as she was told and stared into his eyes from across the pillow. ‘See, now tell me what you’re worried about. Getting pregnant? No, getting any diseases? No, we both know we’re clean. So what’s the problem?’_

_‘We slept together, isn’t that enough?’ she whined._

_‘Look, I’m sure it happens all the time. Drunk sex that no one can remember.’ He said, shuffling over to her in the bed. It was a testament to how much alcohol she’d consumed the previous night that she let him press his body up to hers. She felt a little surprised and put her hands on his chest. Dean wasn’t the tallest or the broadest of men, certainly not out of all the men she’d had intimacies with, but she was amazed at how tight and strong he was under her hands._

_A throaty noise escaped him and his hands travelled down her body to grip her hips. She angled her face up to his, now, seemingly, unable to control herself, giving him an invitation to kiss her. Which he did. His lips feeling just as soft as they had when he’d kissed her forehead earlier. His hands moved from her hips to her buttocks and squeezed, making her grind into him. They both moaned simultaneously as they moved together, her arms wrapped round his neck, a leg now thrown over his hip. His hands snaked upwards to massage her breasts, flicking her nipples every so often to make her gasp into his mouth. He rolled her onto her back and pulled her legs up and around his waist, never breaking the contact with her lips. The movement, however, seemed to bring Emily back into thinking more clearly. She realized, belatedly, that she was aroused and about ten seconds away from going for round two with Dean. He moved to reposition himself and she felt something hard against her stomach._ Oh God, was that…is that…

_‘No, no, no! Dean, get off!’ she said manically, pushing him away. Luckily he complied and fell onto his back without a fuss. ‘Holy fuck, Dean, I’m leaving this room, we are both too intoxicated for this.’ She jumped out of the bed not caring that she didn’t have a stitch on her and tried to find her clothes._

_‘Sorry Em, fuck, I didn’t mean for that to happen. But Aidan was right; you are even hotter without your clothes on.’ He said and she turned round, clutching her clothes to the front of her body, to find him checking her out._

_‘Arhh, no! Stop looking at me! And oh God, there’s Aid to think about…Dean, you mustn’t say anything to him. I’m going to have to sneak upstairs and hope he got as pissed as we did last night.’_

_And with that she dashed out of his room and tip toed up the stairs to her own room. She was nearly at the top of the stairs and onto her landing when she felt like she was falling…_

 

THUMP

 

‘Ouch.’ She said as she hit the floor. She was staring up at her ceiling from the floor next to her bed, which she’d plainly fallen out of. _Urgh, it was only a dream._ She often had dreams of things that had happened to her, but this one had been incredibly vivid. _What happened to the sex dream with Richard I was expecting, huh, brain? I had to relive the morning after the night before with Dean._

‘Do you prefer sleeping on the floor?’ _Speak off the devil._ She looked up at the bed to find Richard resting his chin on the edge of the mattress.

‘This wasn’t planned.’ She said airily.

‘Good, given that this is the second time in the last few hours you’ve ended up on the floor I was worried you didn’t like sleeping next to me.’ he said, offering her a hand to help her back up onto the bed.

‘Oh no, I am more than happy having you as a nice big hot water bottle.’ She said, climbing onto him and kissing him. That dream, while not being with the correct man, had never the less made her wake up ready and desperate for him. Her kisses were demanding, her tongue battling with his as she sought to stay in control. But after a short while, he managed to push her away an inch so he could say

‘What’s this for?’ he asked breathlessly. She was just about to answer when she heard her phone ring tone. She screwed up her face.

‘I should probably get that.’ She said, glad that she didn’t have to answer his question even though she’d have to get up from pinning Richard to the bed. She got off the bed and rummaged around on her desk to find her phone and answered it before it rang off.

‘Hello?’ she said blearily.

‘Hi, Emily?’ the vaguely familiar male voice said from the other end of the line.

‘Yeah, who is this?’ she asked, not able to figure out who it was.

‘Joe, Joe Hilson.’ The voice said and she cottoned on to why he was familiar. Joe was her old next door neighbour when she lived with her family. Her dad had wanted her to marry him as their family was very well off, but Emily had only ever seen him as a friend. He now ran his parents farm and had started his own family there.

‘Oh God, of course, why are you calling? Is everything ok?’ she asked, her thoughts flying to her dad having an accident with the cattle.

‘Not really Emily, Mary’s fallen off of one of my horses and we’ve had her taken to hospital, but I can’t stay here and they won’t let her out as there are complications and neither your dad no sisters will come and I didn’t know who else to call!’ he said all in one breath. He sounded really worried, which wasn’t an emotion she was used to Joe showing.

‘But I thought Mary was a good rider?’ she said down the phone, knowing full well that it didn’t matter how good a rider you were accidents can always happen.

‘It’s a new horse, she wanted to ride him, but he flipped. Emily, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do!’ he said desperately.

‘It’s ok, don’t panic, I’m on my way now. It’s the St Christopher’s’ hospital, right?’ she said as she began to try and find some clothes to put on.

‘Yeah, she’s in accident and emergency at the moment. I’ll stay for a bit longer, but my wife will need me at home soon.’

‘It’s ok, I’m sure she’ll be fine until I get there, if you have to go, then go.’ She said, pulling off her leggings with one hand.

‘Thanks Em.’

‘Bye Joe.’ She said quickly, and hung up before she heard him say good bye.

She put the phone back on her desk and resumed stripping properly before pulling on some underwear. She was just fastening her bra when a cough sounded from behind her. _Oh, of course, Richard!_ She spun round to find him looking at her, his eyes on storks. She suppressed a grin.

‘Who…who was that?’ he asked, struggling to pull his eye line up to her face. _To be fair on him, I have just stripped right in front of him…he probably wasn’t expecting that!_

‘My dad’s neighbour, I have to go down to the farm, my sister is in hospital.’ She said, pulling on a pair of jeans.

‘I’ll come with you.’ Richard said immediately, untangling himself from the sheets and standing up.

‘No, you might as well stay here and go down to London with the others. I’ll meet you down there once I’ve worked out what’s happening. What’s the time?’

‘It’s seven thirty and I am coming with you.’ He said, finding his suitcase and pulling out clean clothes.

‘But…’

‘I’m coming with you.’ He said again, she rolled her eyes and decided it would be easier just to give in.

‘Ok. I don’t want to wake up the others, so we’ll leave them a note to tell them we’ll see them there.’ She said, pulling on a strappy top and grabbing some socks and boots.

‘What are you going to wear this evening?’ Richard asked. _Oh shit, I forgot about that._

‘I’ll just take what I need and put it in an overnight bag.’ She said, opening her wardrobe and barely noticing what she was taking out. ‘I can take it with me now, but you ought to leave your things for Graham to take in the car. We’ll need to take the train and I think all that will be a little cumbersome.’ She said, glancing round to gesture at his cases but found him kneeling on the floor only wearing a pair of snug fitting jeans his well-muscled arms digging in his case. She groaned and looked away.

‘Are you ok?’ he asked from behind her sounding concerned. She closed her eyes tightly to try and get a grip on herself. _I wouldn’t be struggling if I was getting a grip on him…argh!_

‘Yeah, my body just doesn’t like the whole not having sex right now and leaving the house thing.’ She said. She heard him chuckling from behind her, closer than she had expected, and felt his arms fold around her.

‘We can sort that out tonight.’ He said, kissing the top of her head. ‘Just tell your body to be patient.’

‘Why is life such a trial?’ she said melodramatically.

‘I’m afraid you fell on your own sword when you installed that rule.’ He said, leaving her to tug on a T shirt.

‘I’d rather fall on your sword.’ She muttered, but she wasn’t sure if he heard.

 

 

Emily dashed off a note to the guys and had Richard leave his things by the front door so they wouldn’t forget to pick it up before they hurried out of the house towards the train station. It took them three hours from leaving the house to get to Kent and then another fifteen minutes to get a taxi and get to the hospital.

When they arrived Emily went up to the desk in A and E to ask where she could find her sister. The middle aged woman behind the desk looked hassled and sighed grumpily much more than Emily really thought was necessary, but finally she directed them where to go. Emily thanked her distractedly and made her way through the doors she’d been told to go through. There were several hospital bed surrounded by blue curtains lined up down one side of the room; the occupied ones had the curtains closed.

Emily stopped a nurse who told her that Mary was in the bed on the far side of the room, as she’d been there for quite some time. Emily nodded and went to walk over, but Richard held her back.

‘I think it might be better if I go and get you a drink of water. I don’t want to make things awkward when you first go in there.’ He said quietly.

‘Good idea. Just come in when you’re ready.’ She said and left him to find her sister.

She didn’t know whether to knock on the curtains or what, to announce her arrival, so she just pushed her way through to find Mary sitting up in the bed staring straight in front of her. She hadn’t even seemed to notice Emily.

‘Mary?’ she asked and her sister’s blonde head snapped round.

‘Em! What are you doing here?’ she asked sounding shocked. Emily went over and hugged her gently, noting the bruising on her left arm and the grazes on her arm and face.

‘Joe phoned me saying you fell off a horse and were in hospital but there were complications and dad couldn’t be here. So I’m came. What’s wrong? Why are there complications? You don’t look too bad to me.’

‘It’s, err, a little bit complicated.’ Mary said hesitantly ‘Joe didn’t say if he’d be back, did he?’

‘No, he didn’t mention. What’s going on?’ Emily asked, getting more and more curious by the minute. Mary took a deep breath and disengaged any sort of eye contact with Emily.

‘I’m pregnant.’ She said quickly. Emily gaped at her. _What the hell?_

‘What do you mean you’re pregnant?! You’re only sixteen, who’s the father?!’ Emily screeched, unable to control the tone or volume of her voice as she stared down at her little sister.

‘I’m nearly seventeen and…Joe Hillson.’ Mary said reluctantly. This was the point where Emily hit the roof.

‘WHAT?! He’s _married_ Mary! _Married!_ And she’s just had their first child! _And_ he’s my age! What the fuck did you think you were doing with him?! And what the fuck was he doing with you?! He was my best friend, does he know?’ she shouted.

‘Yes.’ Mary mumbled.

‘And he let you ride a badly behaved horse knowing you were pregnant with his baby?! I’m going to string him up…’ Emily said, beginning to pace about the tiny cubicle.

‘People do ride while they’re pregnant Emily…’ Mary argued half heartedly.

‘I know that, but be sensible Mary! Joe said the horse was new, an unknown quantity, and you still get on it? What if you’d damaged yourself and lost the baby? Or was that the plan? Dad doesn’t know does he?’

‘Of course dad doesn’t know! He’d kick me out!’ Mary shouted back.

‘Well I’m not trying to worry you here but at some point or another he is going to notice the sodding baby belly! He and mum had four of us Mary; he knows what a pregnant woman looks like! What are you going to do then? Live with Joe and his wife and their baby and your baby can be buddies?’ she spat, letting her anger get the better of her. But Jesus, out of all of them she thought Mary would not get herself into trouble like this.

‘I don’t know what I’m going to do! It was a fucking accident Em! You’ve made mistakes too, I know I’ve messed up big time but don’t pretend you’re a saint!’

‘I don’t need reminding how many bad mistakes I have made with men, but at least I never got knocked up! I thought you were more sensible than I was. I’m just…have you thought about what you’re going to do? I know I’ve sounded like the world’s biggest bitch, but it’s only because I care. If he forced you to do anything you must tell me and I’ll sort it out. At your age, when he’s so much older than you, we can look into prosecution or…’ Emily said, finally reigning in her anger and sitting down in the chair beside the bed.

‘No, no.’ Mary interrupted fiercely. ‘It was consensual, I’ve liked him for such a long time and…it was a mistake, but he’s been very supportive of me and whatever my decision is. Even though I don’t know that for myself yet.’

Emily groaned and put her head in her hands. _What have I done to deserve this?_

‘I still want to kill him though. Please don’t feel like you need to hide things from me. I’m here for you and will help you in any way I can.’ She said kindly now. Mary opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, looking over Emily’s shoulder. She looked round to find a very self-conscious looking Richard peering round the curtain, holding a plastic cup of water.

‘Mary, this is Richard.’ She said, gesturing for him to come in.

‘Oh, _Richard?_ ’ Mary said, her face registering shock, addressing Emily she continued ‘I thought you said it was over between you two?’

‘I was wrong.’ She said as she took the cup from Richard, thanking him with a smile, which he returned. ‘But back to you, you must not tell dad, Sophie or Katie. Not until you’ve decided what to do. If you keep it you need to be prepared to move out.’

‘I know, Em, I don’t know what to do!’ Mary said desperately, tears springing in her eyes. Emily jumped up to sit on the edge of the bed to hug her, allowing her to cry into her shoulder.

‘She’s pregnant.’ Emily said quietly to Richard in explanation.

‘I know.’ He said walking over to take the seat Emily had just vacated. ‘I think the whole emergency room knows after you two were shouting about it.’

‘Oops.’ Emily said under her breath before turning her attention back to Mary. ‘Look, don’t panic about it now, just relax and have a good think about it. I’m only a phone call away if you need to talk. How far along are you?’

‘Eight weeks.’

‘And morning sickness?’

‘It’s been ok actually. If I go out riding really early in the morning I don’t get it at all.’ She said, her tears starting to clear up at Emily’s interest. ‘That’s why I was out this morning. I feel so stupid, I didn’t even think about getting on a new horse, I never do, I suppose I should have. But I didn’t feel any different.’

‘I know, why do they think there are complications? I don’t understand if you’ve only got a bit bruised, why do they want you to stay?’ Emily asked.

‘I think they want dad to come and pick me up. But he wouldn’t pick up his phone for Joe.’ Mary sniffed.

‘We can go and get him, can’t we Emily?’ Richard said. Emily’s stomach churned. Her dad would not like Richard. Her dad didn’t like anyone she liked anymore.

‘Yes, we can. If we go now we can get you out of here as soon as possible.’ She said standing up. ‘Don’t tell dad unless you call me first. If he’s going to kick you out you’d better come and stay with me and the boys. We’re going to London straight after going to get dad, so please, please take care of yourself and call me if you need anything.’ She squeezed her hand.

‘Thanks Em. I’m not looking forward to telling him…’

‘I know, I understand. Keep me informed. Dad will be here before you know it, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not…but you’ll be happier once you get back home.’ Emily said, making her way towards the curtains and the way out.

‘It’s been nice to meet you Mary.’ Richard said politely, standing up and following Emily towards the exit. Emily waved at her and disappeared, she always hated saying goodbye.

As they made their way out of the hospital to find another taxi Richard spoke

‘She was nice.’

‘God Richard, I feel so bad for leaving her here.’ Emily said, raking her fingers through her hair.

‘They’ll take care of her in the hospital.’

‘I don’t mean in there, I mean with my dad!’ she hissed as they got into the taxi.

‘I don’t know if I’m looking forward to meeting your dad.’ He said stiffly.

‘He won’t like you Richard, I can tell you that now. He hasn’t liked anyone I’ve dated since Jack dumped me.’ she broke the conversation to quickly give the taxi driver the address of the farm.

‘He liked your ex then?’ he asked, continuing where she left off.

‘He loved him. He wanted me to marry Joe initially, but he wasn’t disappointed when I started seeing Jack. He really hated it when he left me, blaming me for letting a good man go, nobody will compare to him.’ she said, trying to detach her emotions. If she showed up at her old home looking like she’d been crying any member of her family would rip into her for it.

Richard took her hand and started to draw little circles on her palm with his thump. It was reassuring and they fell into a sleepy silence as they travelled into the countryside.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for yet another enormous delay in updating! I’m slowly working my way through each of my stories! As I recently explained in the notes of one of my other fics I have been having time issues and have not had the time I would like to be writing, but I have every intention on finishing them!
> 
> Thank you for your patience and for reading!

‘We won’t be long here. I’ll kick my dad into gear and then we’ll be off.’ Emily said briskly as they both slammed the doors of the taxi.

The old Home Farm cottage looked like even more of a dump then when Emily had last seen it. Her father had lost interest in keeping up the house since her mother had died. The wibbly-wobbly roof of terracotta tiles looked like it had been hit by a storm. There were loose tiles sticking up and more than one now lay on the floor. Old buckets and discarded sacks of feed littered the garden, _if you could call it that,_ and weeds grew up from the paved pathway to the front door. The door itself was once green, but had more recently been painted over in a dark blue. Badly, as it the blue paint was peeling to reveal the green underneath.

Emily gritted her teeth and went round to the side of the house where the kitchen door was located, Richard followed mutely and she hoped he wasn’t getting too bad of an impression from this place. It was a wreck after all. Cursing her father she pushed open the kitchen door, which mercifully was still a nice green, and promptly tripped over a yellow bucket to fall flat onto the floor.

‘What the _fuck?!’_ she shouted, flipping over onto her back only to realise that the bucket had been full of water from being used to catch a drip from the ceiling and was now soaking into her clothes. She scrambled up quickly, throwing her bag out of the way of the puddle on the floor and righted the bucket, noticing that Richard seemed to be hiding a smile very poorly.

‘If you tell _anyone_ about this I’m going to cut off your testicles.’ She said, pointing a finger at him threateningly.

‘OK, ok. I would quite like to remain entire if you don’t mind.’ He said, raising his hands in surrender. She gave him a nod, a smile and then turned her attention to the ceiling.

‘Where is this water coming from? It’s not raining….and this part of the house has two storeys and then the loft.’ She said, thinking aloud.

‘The boiler is broken smart arse.’ A scathing voice answered. Emily turned to see Sophie, the next eldest waltzing in like she owned the world. Long blonde hair, blue eyes set in a clear skinned, symmetrical face and the fact that she rarely ever wore anything that covered her long legs from a foot above the knee meant that she was guaranteed a pull when she went out. She felt that her irresistibility to men was a gift given to her to exploit. Emily thought she’d marry a footballer and live happily off of his money, shagging whoever took her fancy when he was away. _Personal opinion, but I would put cold hard cash on it being right!_

‘Why hasn’t it been fixed? The ceiling is black; it must have been like this for ages.’ Emily said, trying to be calm. The calm lasted for approximately point two of a second after she had finished talking as that was the moment that Sophie noticed Richard.

‘Is this the Irish Guy?’ Sophie said, throwing out some hip and her eyes travelled up and down his body. Emily inwardly rolled her eyes. ‘Mary said he was hot, I think she liked him. Maybe you could have a three way? Or more, if I could get in there too, this big guy looks like he could handle all of us.’ She said, licking her lips. _Oh my God, this family!_ She glanced up at Richard’s face, which had gone a deep shade of red and stepped up to her sister, hoping to bring her attention back to a more sensible conversation.

‘No, this isn’t the Irish one and there is no way in hell that I am getting involved in any kind of sexual activity with my sisters. Not happening.’ She said decisively, but Sophie’s attention had gone back to Richard and she was entirely sure if she’d heard anything she’d said. _I think it’s time to get outta here!_

‘Rich, do you want to wait outside for a minute.’ Richard nodded quickly and took his chance to avoid the unwanted attention. ‘Soph, where’s dad?’

‘Does he have a big dick?’ Sophie asked, plainly not listening and trying to peek through the window.

‘What?’ Emily spat out in shock.

‘That guy, Rich, did you call him? Is he big?’

‘What the…Sophie, _where is dad?’_ Emily said seriously. _My sister was gross, you don’t ask people that!_

‘He is, isn’t he? I can tell, I’m never wrong.’ _Yeah, I don’t doubt you’ve seen enough to do a thorough experiment on penis size._

‘Where. Is. Dad?’

‘Fucks sake, you act like such a virgin. He’s in the fucking hay barn.’ Sophie finally answered.

‘Thank you.’ Emily said grumpily and made to head out.

‘He’ll be so pleased to see you, Emmy.’ Sophie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Emily’s head snapped round to face her sister, clear blue eyes meeting stormy grey ones.

‘Do _not_ call me that!’ Emily spat and spun round on her heel, grabbed her bag and rushed straight out of the door, somehow missing the bucket on the way out, and slamming the door behind her.

Richard was waiting about three feet to the side of the door, his cheeks still a bit pink but his face was blank.

‘You heard all of that, didn’t you?’ she asked.

‘Yep.’

‘Urgh, ignore it. She’s vile.’ Emily said, motioning for him to follow her as she made her way across the stone yard and towards an open sided barn less than quarter full of hay. The old blue Land Rover she learned to drive in was hitched up to a trailer and parked at the barn door.

‘Are you going to be ok? Your back is quite wet.’ Richard pointed out. She reached behind her to feel where the water had soaked into her clothes. It was wet, but not saturated.

‘It’ll be fine, it’s going to be warm today, I’ll dry out soon.’ She said, sighing at her bad luck.

‘Should I wait outside?’ Richard asked quietly as they neared the bonnet of the car.

‘No, if he finds you out here when I’ve been to talk to him on my own he’ll ask a lot of awkward questions. Also, if you’re left out here without me I wouldn’t be surprised if Sophie came out and started touching you. Or trying to measure you.’ She said, laughing internally at the look of horror on his face. ‘Are you regretting meeting me yet?’

‘You? No. Your family…’

‘I know, I did warn you.’

‘I assumed, after meeting Mary that you were exaggerating. I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous to meet someone as I am now.’ He said, eyeing the barn door reproachfully.

‘His opinion of you isn’t going to change what I think about you. In many ways, if doesn’t like you it’s a good sign.’

‘Thank you for reassuring me. I’m not worried at all now.’ He said sarcastically. It wasn’t nasty, but he was starting to get defensive. _Hmm I wonder why? Not._

‘Look, you can wait outside if you want. Go down to the gate we passed through on the way in, you should be out of the way there.’ She said, taking a step closer and taking one of his hands between hers. He gripped the one in his palm back and shook his head.

‘No, I’ll…’

‘What’s going on here?’ a gruff voice said from the barn entrance. Emily looked up and met the blue grey eyes of her father. ‘Oh it’s you is it? Don’t remember asking you to come back.’

Emily rolled her eyes. Alan Grey had not changed in the few months since Emily had last seen him. His grey flecked blonde hair was still receding, his wiry frame still capable and his attitude towards his eldest daughter still passively aggressive.

‘ _You_ didn’t. Joe did. Where the hell is your phone? He’s been trying to get through to you!’ Emily answered him, already feeling annoyance building.

‘Dropped it in the slurry last week.’ He replied shrugging. ‘Couldn’t find it.’

‘Didn’t it occur to you to go and buy a new one? And what about the phone in the house, isn’t that working?’

‘I had it cut off. It was always people pestering me. I had enough of it.’ He said shortly, as though that was the end of the matter. Emily decided to give up, it wasn’t worth the trouble. _He never listens to me anyway._

‘You going to introduce us?’ He asked, eyeing Richard pointedly.

‘Richard, this is my dad, Alan. Dad, this is Richard.’ She said quickly, not elaborating. To her surprise Alan walked over and shook Richard’s hand. _That’s a new one._

‘What do you do, Richard?’ he asked, almost civilly, but Emily could tell that something else was at play here. She just didn’t know what.

‘I’m an author.’ Richard replied politely.

‘Don’t know anything about cows then?’ Alan asked, this time in a more suspicious voice, _more like what I was expecting._

‘Erm, no, I don’t.’ Richard asked, looking very confused. _Which, come to think of it, so was I._

‘Emily, I told you the last time you were here that if you didn’t bring home man suitable to help with the farm, then don’t bother coming home!’ Alan spat at her. Emily flinched; she’d completely forgotten that he’d told her that. _And I’m quite surprised he remembered to be honest._

‘I’m not here for a social visit dad. Or to gain your approval of a man that I like. I’m here because you didn’t pick up your damn phone when Joe rang to tell you that Mary’s in hospital!’

‘Hospital? What’s she doing there?’

‘She fell off a horse. She’s fine but they want you to go and pick her up.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ he said, pushing past her on his way to the house.

‘Why didn’t I…What do you think I’ve been trying to do?! What do you think Joe has been trying to do? It’s not _my_ fault you lost your damn phone!’ she said to his back.

‘Bugger off back to where you came from you ungrateful little cow.’ He shouted over his shoulder.

Richard and Emily watched the back of Emily’s father hurry down the yard towards a slightly newer Land Rover and get in. _I see he still leaves the keys in the car, the moron._ He slammed on the accelerator and disappeared down the drive. Emily sighed and rubbed her eyes.

‘Fancy a roll in the hay?’ Richard said and nodded his head towards the hay barn. Emily looked up at him. _Where does his mind take him?!_

‘Been there, done that, picked the hay from my lady bits. It’s not all it’s made out to be.’

‘Oh?’ He said, looking a bit surprised but curious all the same.

‘Look where I grew up.’ she said, gesturing around her ‘if both sets of parents were home it was the obvious place for shenanigans without getting caught.’

‘And did you ever get caught?’ he asked, a smile beginning to work its way onto his face.

‘Yeah we did actually. I thought I was going to die from embarrassment.’ She said, her face going pink at the memory.

‘Who was it?’ he pursued. She rolled her eyes and started to walk towards her next destination, leaving him to follow on behind.

‘His dad of all people. What a great first impression; me on my back with his son between my legs.’

‘Really? What did your ex think?’ he said, sounding less amused but still interested.

‘Didn’t bother him at all. If anything I think he enjoyed it. Looking back I should have realised then that he was fucked in the head.’ She said bitterly as she climbed up and swung her leg over a five bar gate.

‘Wow.’ Richard said, copying her and climbing clumsily over the gate. ‘Where are we going now?’

She took a deep breath and thought for a minute about whether she wanted to tell him, as he was bound to be unimpressed. _He was probably bored as hell following me around confronting my less than pleasant family. Humph. At least the weather’s nice._ Which it was, the fields were still green and lush with cattle grazing happily in the distance. They had just passed onto the neighbouring land which belonged to Joe but he rented out to Emily’s father. Joe himself had taken over the farm when his dad had retired two years ago and primarily dealt horses, which is how Mary had come to know him as well as she did. Joe’s father had taught Emily to ride as a child, but Joe had been the one to teach Mary. Emily wasn’t too proud to admit that she was not a natural, but Joe had been keen to allow Mary to ride. _God, why do these things always happen when I have other things to think about?_

‘To see Joe.’ She said stiffly

‘What? Do you think that’s a good idea?’ Richard exclaimed, jogging to catch up with her.

‘Yes.’ She replied, still walking and refusing to look at him.

‘No, really. Emily, think about this. Is his wife going to be at home? Is he going to be there? You can’t just barge in!’

‘I’m not going to barge in. I know his wife, if she’s there and he isn’t then we can make our excuses and leave. If they’re both there I’ll ask for a quiet word.’

‘You were talking about stringing him up earlier, are you sure you’re capable of a “quiet word”?’ he asked anxiously.

‘Oh Richard stop fussing, I’m in control. I just want to make _him_ aware that _I_ am aware of the _situation_ with Mary.’

‘Why?’

‘So that if she tells my dad and he has a hissy fit Joe can know that he can call me if she goes to him for help.’

‘Is that the only reason?’ he asked suspiciously.

‘Well…ok so I want to threaten him and his baby making parts a bit. But I can do that quietly!’ she admitted, at last stopping in her tracks and facing him with her arms crossed.

‘Can you?’ he said sceptically.

‘He was my best friend. I just want to know why he did it.’ She said in resignation.

‘I think you need to be prepared that he isn’t going to have a reason.’ He said softly, reaching forward to take her hand and hold it reassuringly.

‘Are you going to give me a man’s perspective?’ she questioned, squeezing his hand to let him know that the touch was appreciated.

He let out a long sigh and scratched his stubble covered chin.

‘The only reason _I_ would cheat on my wife and get a sixteen year old pregnant is if I was off my face pissed and had no idea what I was doing. Hypothetically of course.’

‘Of course. But what if you didn’t love your wife? Would you turn to someone else?’ she continued. _Well I might as well try and make the most of his insights._

‘I wouldn’t marry someone I didn’t love.’ He said an intense look now in his eyes. He took a step closer and pulled her carefully towards him. She smiled, knowing what was coming next; she put her palm flat on his chest and angled her face upwards.

‘Alright Mr Noble, perhaps you’re not the average man I need answers from.’ She said huskily as he bent his head. His lips had barely touched hers when she pulled away.

‘Richard! I’ve had the most fantastic idea!’ she said enthusiastically, suddenly turning on her heel and dragging him away by the hand. She heard him groan behind her but carried on walking purposefully ahead, there would be time for him later. _I need to keep focused on what I’m supposed to be doing…_

‘Emily, wait, what is this idea?’ he asked as they crossed the brow of a hill to find Joe’s sizable farmhouse a short walk away down the stony farm track.

‘It’s totally fine, I mean it; it’s a really good idea.’ She said confidently.

‘Could you at least just te..’

‘Emily? Emily, is that you?’ Joe’s voice said from somewhere. Emily looked around to see him coming out of one of the stables. His bright red hair standing up on end coupled with his flushed face made him look like his head was on fire. ‘Thank God, have you been to the hospital yet? Has she come home?’ he said, rushing to put down the bucket he was carrying and come to meet them.

‘Yeah we’ve been. I’ve just sent my dad down there to get her so she should be back soon.’ Emily said walking over to meet Joe as he approached them. Seeing her old friend cast a curiously look behind her, she ushered Richard forward. ‘Joe this is my friend Richard, Rich this is Joe.’ She said quickly, hoping to move the conversation on. ‘Joe, could you do me a favour and give us a lift back to the train station? We caught a taxi to the farm but I forgot to get his number so we could get a lift back.’

‘Err, yeah sure.’ Joe said awkwardly, glancing back to the house. ‘Let me just get my car keys.’

Once he was out of earshot Emily risked looking towards Richard, whose gaze she felt boring into the back of her skull. _And no, he does not look happy, great._

‘This is your plan?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I thought if he was alone in his car then his wife won’t hear. Not to mention we get a much needed ride to the station. Two birds; one stone.’ She said, lowering her voice just in case there was someone nearby but out of sight.

‘Why does that have to make sense?’ he asked on a breath.

‘I’m sorry. This has to have been a nightmare for you.’

‘It’s not really what I thought it was going to be.’ He confessed reluctantly.

‘Graham and the boys are not staying at your house tonight are they?’

‘No, why?’ he asked warily

‘Because I’m planning on showing you how sorry I am and I don’t think they’d get a lot of sleep if they were in the next room.’ She purred as seductively as she could. Luckily he responded and his doubtful expression relaxed into a penetrating stare.

‘Oh really?’ he said a, _very sexy if I do say so myself,_ smile curving his lips. ‘Does that mean that I’m not going to get a lot of sleep?’

‘Do you think you need it old man?’

‘I’m not that old thank you, if you set the pace I will keep up.’ he said defiantly. _Good man._

‘Challenge accepted.’ She said happily, feeling the blood pump through her veins with a little more purpose.

Joe slammed the door of his house moments later looking harassed and even redder than he was before. Emily pulled a nervous face at Richard.

‘Come on Em.’ He called as he unlocked the brand new Range Rover and got into the driver’s side.

‘You get in the front.’ Richard muttered in her ear and lightly pushed her in the right direction. She rolled her eyes and did as she was told. _He won’t be able to ignore me if I’m sitting right next to him._

‘Nice car. You had that old pickup last time you gave me a lift.’ Emily said as she fastened her seatbelt.

‘Yeah, well, a two seated pickup wasn’t really suitable when you have a baby, so it had to go.’ He answered

‘Yes, about the baby thing…’ Emily started as they pulled out onto the main road.

‘Oh shit, Mary told you didn’t she? Shit, Emily, please don’t kill me. Shit, shit!’

‘Stop swearing you tosser, I’m not going to kill you. I’d like to, but I do need to talk to you about it.’ She said evenly.

‘Yeah, yeah ok.’ He said unhappily.

‘My dad’s going to kick her out when she tells him.’

‘Fuck, Em, she cannot stay with me, my wife will guess, Mary is always round to ride the horses. Cat will definitely find out.’

‘Joe, shut up! I know she can’t stay with you, she can come and stay with me, but she might need some help. I want you to know that so things can go smoothly. That’s if she plans to keep it…’

‘I haven’t tried to persuade her either way.’ Joe interrupted quickly

‘Why not? Surely it’s within your interest?’ Emily asked calmly.

‘It is, but it’s my fault as it is. I don’t want to push her into something she doesn’t want.’

‘Why did you do it Joe? I don’t understand!’

‘Urgh. Cat was quite ill just after Maisie was born. She couldn’t look after her at all and was in hospital for a while. Maisie would cry all night and I had no help. I just needed someone and Mary was there. It was a low point Em, I regret it, but it happened.’

‘We’ve all been there. I’m worried about her though. Pregnancy at her age…Jesus…’ Suddenly a snort of laughter came from the back seat. Emily spun round to see Richard with his fingers covering his mouth. She mouther “what?” at him, but he shook his head and looked away.

‘And what about this business of putting her on a horse? When did you think that was a good idea?’ she said, turning her attention to Joe again. He didn’t look like he was coping very well with the questioning.

‘I didn’t think, that was part of the problem.’ He whined

‘That was _the entire_ problem throughout!’

‘I made a big mistake, but I don’t know how to put it right! Tell me how to fix it, please! I can’t bear it!’ he said, now looking like he was on the verge of tears. _Ok, I’ll back off even more._

‘I don’t know. Just keep me in the loop, let me know if anything happens or if she makes a decision on anything and doesn’t want to tell me.’ she said.

‘If she doesn’t want to tell you then should _I_ be telling you?’ Joe asked uncertainly.

‘I’m not going to judge her, but if I don’t know I can’t help.’

‘I don’t know…’ he said, still sounding unconvinced.

‘Fucking hell Joe; just let me help!’ she snapped.

‘Ok, ok. I will.’ He relented. ‘But I get to blame you if she finds out I told you.’

‘Yes, fine, whatever.’ She said. At that moment the station came into sight and she got an overwhelming need to get out of the car. ‘If you could just pull over and we’ll walk the rest thanks.’

‘Sure.’ He said, indicating left and pulling over to the curb. As he stopped and Emily was unbuckling her seatbelt he reached over and grabbed her forearm. ‘She’s a really nice girl, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt her.’

‘I’m not the one you should be saying that to. Thanks for the ride.’ She said, wriggling her arm away from him and jumping out of the car. She joined Richard on the curb as the Range Rover sped away and let out an aggravated groan.

‘I didn’t expect him to be like that.’ Richard said conversationally.

‘I’ll be honest with you, neither did I. He’s changed.’ She said feeling disappointed. Richard took her bag from her, put his free arm around her waist and led her to the entrance to the station.

‘Why do you think that is?’

‘Dunno, don’t really care. He’s a big boy with a supportive family, he doesn’t need me.’ she said fully aware that she was starting to sound stressed.

‘I can take you home. Back to Oxford if you don’t want to…’

‘Rich, I want to come with you. I want to see Graham and the boys and I want to have a good time. More than anything I want to spend some uninterrupted quality time with you.’ She said, leaning into him and absorbing his protective warmth.

‘London then?’

‘Yes please.’


End file.
